Could someone please comment or email me and explain why in the world everyone uses blogrolls… I have a perfectly nice linking system, and yet I’ve noticed that there is a bit of a sub-cultural issue where people only want to link to me if I blogroll link to them I’m feeling blackmailed What makes it so great?! Is it seriously worth it? Will you blogroll me if I blogroll you?
Blog
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Holy Mucous, Batman!
Obviously I have known milk’s faults for many moons now. My son is severely allergic, so I know every food with milk, every restaurant with a “clean” kitchen, and all of the reasons to avoid milk. Even still, I wanted to be able to eat cheese when I went out to eat
I have been SO stubborn about getting rid of it in my diet, even though I already cook dairy-free meals for my family.About a week ago I finally made the plunge into veganism. As soon as I cut out milk, I stopped waking up with a stuffy nose and/or a migraine! Its not like I didn’t know that milk can cause stuffiness, so why am I surprised? It is so great to wake up with clean sinuses! Who knew?! This is way better than any bowl of ice cream!
So, if you’re unsure, give it a try! Its not that bad!
Oh, and you know what the best part is? I can kiss my son and not worry that I have some leftover milk on my lips that will make him break out
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Skin switching
I decided to switch my skin for a little while. The old layout looked too fall-ish for me, but I’ll probably bring it back (or something similar) after summer is over
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“Lafayette Oatmeal Day” Raspberry Bars
This was listed in our local paper as the recipe of the week. The article says that you can use any jam or preserve. I had some cherry jam here and it turned out great!
2 1/2 cups Quaker Quick cooking oatmeal (I used regular though)
2 1/2 cups flour
Pinch salt
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 cups melted butter (I used earth balance to make this casein-free)
1 1/2 teaspoons Mexican vanilla (I omitted due to an allergy in the family)
1 12-ounce jar of raspberry preserves of the highest quality you can get
2 tablespoons Chambord liqueur, or water if you preferPreheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a 13x9x2 baking pan. Combine oats, flour, salt and sugar. Add melted butter and vanilla to dry ingredients. Combine until crumbly. Put about 3 cups of the oatmeal mixture into the bottom of your pan and press it down. Mix together the liqueur or water along with the preserves/jam. Spread the jam mixture over the oatmeal mixture. Sprinkle the remaining oatmeal mixture on top of the preserves and press it down to make it even. Bake 18-23 minutes or until the top is very brown. Cool on rack and cut into bars. Store in an airtight container.
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Being near without crowding my children
As an AP parent, I think I am constantly trying to figure out the balance between being there for my kids vs. crowding my kids and not giving them a chance to explore and grow on their own. I start to feel guilty if I am not interacting with them at all times, and yet I know that they really benefit from time to just explore and learn. This passage from “Home Education” made me smile because it includes a pretty good description of our day. I am often knitting, reading, cross-stitching, ect., while they play outside. I sit on the patio and watch them as they play, but I sometimes feel guilty as though I should be directing their play more. This passage gave me a little extra persmission to relax
Oh, and I initially read it as though she was saying that the mom should “check” the childrens attempts to discuss, but she’s actually talking about checking the MOTHERS attempts. Duh.
There are few things sweeter and more precious to the child than playful prattle with her mother; but one thing is better–the communing with the larger Mother, in order to which the child and she should be left to themselves. This is, truly, a delightful thing to watch: the mother reads her book or knits her sock, checking all attempts to make talk; the child stares up into a tree, or down into a flower–doing nothing, thinking of nothing; or leads a bird’s life among the branches, or capers about in aimless ecstasy;–quite foolish, irrational doings, but, all the time a fashioning is going on: Nature is doing her part, with the vow–
“This child I to myself will take:
She shall be mine, and I will make
A lady of my own.” [Wordsworth] -
Queen Bees and Wannabes…
I came to a disturbing revelation today.
I was a queen bee.
As I was browsing through the library, I saw a copy of Rosalind Wiseman’s Queen Bees and Wannabes, which made me very excited, because I’ve been wanting to read it for years. I remember when she was first on the Oprah show, and I was completely fascinated. I couldn’t wait to read the book and hate all of the Queen Bees.
Then once I started reading, I realized that my school life was split right down the middle. From 3rd until 7th grade, I attended a small private school. We moved in 8th grade, and I went to public school from then until I was done with high school.
In high school I was definitely not a Queen Bee. Our school was far too big to contain just one Queen Bee anyways. After reading all of Ms. Wiseman’s classifications, I think I was a “Floater” in high school. I had a lot of friends, including popular friends, but I was neither here nor there. I think I fit her description of
You can usually spot this girl because she doesn’t associate with only one clique. She has friends in different groups and can move freely among them.
She goes on to describe the floater as being nothing extraordinary… not the prettiest, but pretty; not the smartest, but smart… I definitely wasn’t a “target”, wasn’t under a Queen Bee, and wasn’t a “wannabe” (since I can’t even figure out who the Queen Bee was in our school), so “Floater” makes the most sense.
So then the disturbing part came for me. I was still trying to figure out where I fit in middle school. I was reading the Queen Bee description, and thinking how she sounded like a royal *****. Then I realized how much of it was me.
- Her friends do what she wants to do
- She isn’t intimidated by any other girl in her class
- You have to convince her to invite everyone to her birthday party
- She can argue anyone down, including friends, peers, teachers, and parents
- She can make another girl feel “anointed” by declaring her a special friend
- She won’t (or is very reluctant to) take responsibility when she hurts someone’s feelings
- If she thinks she’s been wronged, she feels she has the right to seek revenge
I feel like such an ass. How did I not realize this? As soon as I thought about it, a million things flooded back that proved this – things that I’d be embarassed to share. I am certainly not this way anymore, but this is a short list of things that I have had to work on in my life. These were the main issues that even plagued my relationships with men when I was younger – especially the part about not wanting to take responsibility when hurting someone.
Then I flipped back to where Ms. Wiseman says when speaking of the Queen Bee claiming that she is in a clique, but it is not mean
…she honestly believes what she’s saying…
So I did the only logical thing: I called people who knew me back then. Guess what they said when I asked them what I was… Yep, a Queen Bee.
I guess I can be thankful that I was knocked off of that rank when I was young. At least I wasn’t that way all the way through. Queen Bees can change, right?
So have any of you read the book? If so, what role did you fall into? Was it the same all the way through?
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Outside time
Sorry for the delay in entries! Last Monday night I prayed that God would help me balance my time. When I woke up Tuesday, my computer was dead
Lucky me, eh? I’m blogging this from my dh’s computer…Today, during my massive amounts of time thanks to my lack of computer, I read some more in Home Education. It was pretty chilly this morning (in the 30s when we were out there), but with a jacket and if we stayed in the sun, it was really quite comfortable. I found a nice spot on the grass and started reading. This is my quote for the day
Mental Training of a Child Naturalist.–Consider, too, what an unequalled mental training the child-naturalist is getting for any study or calling under the sun–the powers of attention, of discrimination, of patient pursuit, growing with his growth, what will they not fit him for? Besides, life is so interesting to him, that he has no time for the faults of temper which generally have their source in ennui; there is no reason why he should be peevish or sulky or obstinate when he is always kept well amused.
(Ennui = A feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction arising from lack of interest; boredom.)
I really loved this quote. It is so true that my kids only get “peevish… sulky… obstinate” when they are stuck inside or doing things that are not meant for children (without any time in the day for childish things). When children are left to explore, learn, and interact with the world in their own way, they do amazingly. As Charlotte says elsewhere
Overpressure.–A great deal has been said lately about the danger of overpressure, of requiring too much mental work from a child of tender years. The danger exists; but lies, not in giving the child too much, but in giving him the wrong thing to do, the sort of work for which the present state of his mental development does not fit him. Who expects a boy in petticoats to lift half a hundredweight? But give the child work that Nature intended for him, and the quantity he can get through with ease is practically unlimited. Whoever saw a child tired of seeing, of examining in his own way, unfamiliar things? This sort of mental nourishment for which he has an unbounded appetite, because it is that food of the mind on which, for the present, he is meant to grow.
So true. So true. I was just telling my mom the same thing the other day. It is amazing to me that this has been written for so long, and yet the “modern” educational system seems to miss this. As I look to my left and right and see parents who are so concerned if their 3-year-olds are not yet in formal preschool, it makes me roll my eyes. How much more are my children learning just from playing in the grass, investigating nature, playing with water, painting the things they see, and being normal kids? Why take that away? Will your children really be better off because they had a few extra years of workbooks? I doubt it.
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The punitive mindset
Although I have spent plenty of time trying to explain it, I still find that many of my friends (the non-GBD kind) don’t see how coming from a punitive mindset changes everything about their discipline, even if the actions that they take are very similar to those of us who practice grace-based discipline.
Last night I finished Crystal Lutton’s Biblical Parenting, and I felt that she concluded with a great discussion of this point. Here she is using the example of a teenager who is about to get her license.
A healthy boundary for a parent to set with regards to their vehicle is that no one without insurance may drive their car. Tell your daughter in advance, perhaps at a famliy meeting, what will happen if she doesn’t keep up the insurance payments. I suggest that she not be allowed to drive your car without insurance. If she misses a payment, take her license and keys. When she catches up on the premiums, return them. This is not punitive. It is logic an adolescent can follow, and it prevents the natural consequence of being in an accident without insurance or a ticket for the same, and your daughter knows the consequences beforehand. This same action would be punitive if done reactively. If you’ve never discussed what will happen if she doesn’t keep up the premiums, it’s punitive to enter her room and demand her keys. Everything within the window needs to be proactive, not reactive.
That makes perfect sense, right? The behavior of the parents can change whether their actions are punitive or not. Its not just what you do… its how you do it.
In the above quote, Crystal also references her “window” which I thought was a great visual for showing how we are to react to our children in a way that is neither permissive nor punitive. I wish she had it online (she may, but I can’t find it), because I’d love to discuss it, but it’d be hard without the pictures.
Now that I’m done with the book, let me say that I truly enjoyed it. I would love it if our small group could study it. My only comment/concern is that I honestly don’t know that many of the men of the group could handle it in Chapter 2 when Crystal says (in speaking of how gender roles and the role of community has changed)
Because of this ever-increasing reliance on a husband to help in parenting the baby and young child, men’s ideas on how to parent children of this age have become more pronounced and are often seen as the “expert” advice. However, it is the woman who has been designed and called by God to parent these young people and, while the help of a husband/father is vital in our culture today, the man would be wise to follow his wife’s lead during these early years.
I totally, absolutely, completely see where she’s coming from, but I know that the military men in our group would piss their pants when they read that. If it was later in the book, I think that we could have a great discussion, but I think that the fact that it is so close to the front means that they wouldn’t even go on. I am sure that was not her intention at all, and they’d see that if they kept reading, but I don’t think they’d ever touch the book again
I’m hoping that our current group book Families Where Grace Is In Place will be enough of a gateway that we could later do Crystal’s book
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Wicca’s Charm
In the future, I hope to write a critique of this work, but I think I’ll save that until I’m done
I think I see some weaknesses and flaws in the author’s writing, but she may very well prove my wrong by the end.I am in a book group that my friend, Candice leads. The group is sponsored (is that the right word?) by CBE aka “Christians for Biblical Equality”. This month’s selection is Wicca’s Charm by Catherine Edwards Sanders. I was really drawn to the concept of this book. In both my bellydancing and my college classes, I have noticed that practicing Wiccans / witches are becoming more common, or at least more vocal. I am very intrigued by what I see happening around me.
As I’ve started reading, I think I’ve pinpointed that part of my intrigue is based on the fact that I think that I would be very drawn to Wicca if I were not more secure in my faith. In general, Wicca empowers women, embraces environmental causes, and aligns more with where I stand on social issues (compared to the traditional church). I think that there is a HUGE group of women who are turned off by the church because they are demoted to being second-class citizens who can’t fully participate. They can’t lead, they can’t teach (except to children), they often can’t even vote. Its no wonder that women would be drawn to a religion where they would be both welcomed and honored. It sounds kind of nice, actually
Ms. Sanders addresses this same facet in her preface and then goes on to talk about how much Christians were turned off when they heard that she was writing a book on Wicca. She goes on to say:
Despite these varied reactions, I took comfort in the story of the apostle Paul at Mars Hill in Athens in ancient Greece. He waded into the pool of pagan thought and religion. And he spent time there. He complimented the religious zeal of the pagan Athenians as he walked by their temples and idols. He knew their literature. His words and actions were so intriguing to the pagan Greeks that they invited him to speak at Mars Hill, a place of honor where new ideas were exchanged and challenged. Paul knew Greek literature so well that he quoted a line from their own pagan poets to explain the gospel. The line that Christians know–“In him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28)–is straight from the mouth of the pagan poet Epimenides who lived in Crete in the sixth century BC. This would have been very familiar to Paul’s audience.
This scriptural account of Paul in Athens enables us to freely embrace truth in any form, wherever it is found. Paul’s precedent of quoting pagan poets empowers Christians to do the same and indicates that morsels of truth and insights from general revelation can be found in non-Christian sources. If you were to follow Paul’s approach when talking with a Pagan teen today, for example, you might quote a line from the well-known neo-Pagan Wiccan writer Starhawk. But it takes time to read Starhawk’s The Spiral Dance and see how her yearnings can be met by a relationship with Christ. How astonishing that seems: An ancient equivalent of Starhawk was quoted in the Bible!I didn’t realize that about Paul, but I looked it up, and sure enough, Wikipedia confirms:
Epimenides’ poem Cretica is quoted twice in the New Testament. In the poem, Minos addresses Zeus thus:
They fashioned a tomb for thee, O holy and high one—
The Cretans, always liars, evil beasts, idle bellies!
But thou art not dead: thou livest and abidest forever,
For in thee we live and move and have our being.The “lie” of the Cretans is that Zeus was mortal; Epimenides considered Zeus immortal. The second line is quoted, with a veiled attribution (“a prophet of their own”), in the Epistle to Titus, chapter 1, verse 12, to warn Titus about the Cretans. “Cretans, always liars”, with the same theological intent as Epimenides, also appears in the Hymn to Zeus of Callimachus. The fourth line is quoted without attribution in the Acts of the Apostles, chapter 17, verse 28.
The “prophet” in Titus 1:12 is identified by Clement of Alexandria as Epimenides (Miscellanies, chapter 14). In this passage, Clement mentions that “some say” Epimenides should be counted among the seven wisest philosophers.
So that has given me something to think about
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Families Where Grace Is In Place – Chapter 1
We’ve just started this book for my group, and I thought it’d be nice to share some of my thoughts.
I can definitely see how my actions fall into the “fallen” category (as in the way people act after the fall of Adam and Eve). I am prone to being the controlling type. Actually, I think everyone is, just some people are more passive-agressive about it, and others are more outwardly aggressive. I think I’m the latter.
I liked Mr. VanVonderen’s description of pre-fall relationships. Its only been in recent years that I’ve started to embrace the fact that the post-fall consequences are not what we need to be living in and accepting. Jesus showed us a new way to live. For some reason I was always taught that it was just how life is, and we had to accept that now, thanks to the fall, the sexes would be at war.
I like this quote. It made me laugh out loud
Pay close attention to Adam’s first response when he awoke and saw Eve: “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh” (v. 23). He did not say, “Great, now I have someone to go get me my stuff, do the chores I don’t feel like doing, and cater to my every need.” And the Word of God goes on: “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (v. 24). This was God’s plan for marriage: entering into the process of becoming one flesh. It is not to “subdue” or to “rule over” each other. Rather, the plan for marriage is a dependence upon God; two becoming one flesh, co-ruling, a relationship in the image of God.
I am happy to say that I do not have a demanding or demeaning husband. He is happy to serve right along side of me, but I still thought the quote was pretty funny.
I hope to have some deep thoughts about future chapters
For now, I’m just amused. I’m wondering if the men in our group will take offense to VanVonderen’s strong egalitarian message… We shall see!
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