I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently as I’ve become more involved in homeschooling groups. As much as homeschoolers like to say that they are proud to raise children who are not peer-dependent, it seems that those at greatest risk of dependency are actually the parents. I am currently reading The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook and I was pleased to see this exact topic mentioned.
Peer dependency? If you are an average adult, you are so peer dependent that you’re scared sick to stand out from the crowd–your relatives, neighbors, school. and church friends. And failure’s grisly head makes your fears horrific! … Anything but standard practice scares you, unless you see how easily Susie is doing it down the street or realize you’re destroying your children’s love for learning.
I find this to be so incredibly true in many of my groups. There are, of course, those moms who are confident and able to make decisions on their own (the “Susie” of the above quote), but there are so many more who are always wanting to jump to where the grass looks greener. Why is it so hard to read something that connects with you, see if it works with your kids, and not panic about the fact that other people are doing it differently? I know we all want our kids to be successful, but I really believe that if you are consistent in any method, and your kids enjoy it, then you don’t need to fear that they will learn. In the long-term everyone’s enjoyment, your attitude, and some kind of consistency seems to be enough to carry you through. When I look back on my schooling, I see that what made me do better than the kids around me was the way that my parents encouraged my love to learn. There was no magic workbook or curriculum that made me intelligent. There’s no such thing.
So that’s my thought for the day, as I read a bunch of moms who are panicked about what curriculum to use for next year. If you current curriculum isn’t working, then of course you should change it, but there’s no need to switch to classical education because everyone else is… If it fits, then great. If what you are doing works, then just enjoy it!
Wonderful topic once again!
For several years, I tried to keep up with an online support group for our curriculum of choice, but I found the group as a whole waaaay too competitive. If you read the emails in a vacuum without engaging your brain, you would feel like a total failure as a parent.
Your two points (consistency and love of learning) are the key. I felt pressured to add in all these extras (everyone else was doing it) but I soon discovered that I had a collection of workbooks that my daughter HATED. The one thing she loved (100 EZ Lessons) everyone else had panned.
We stepped off the beaten path to give our daughters a different kind of learning experience, tailored to their needs. I have to keep reminding myself not to trade one beaten path for another!