The older that my kids get, the less that I am worried about “socialization”. I went to a mix of public and private schools. My dh was homeschooled up until 7th grade and then went to private school. I never even considered homeschooling before my children were born, because I thought that the way that I was raised was the best way. Meeting my husband definitely changed my mind on that one 🙂 Today I was reading some more Charlotte Mason while at the park with my kids, and I really loved this section on children with their peers.
The Society of his Equals too stimulating for a child.“Let us follow the little person to the Kindergarten, where he has the stimulus of classmates of his own age. It certainly is stimulating. For ourselves, no society is so much so as that of a number of persons of our own age and standing; this is the great joy of college life; a wholesome joy for all young people for a limited time. But persons of twenty have, or should have, some command over their inhibitory centres. They should not permit the dissipation of nerve power caused by too much social stimulus; yet even persons of twenty are not always equal to the task of self-management in exciting circumstances. What then, is to be expected of persons of two, three, four, five? That the little person looks rather stolid than otherwise is no guarantee against excitement within. The clash and sparkle of our equals now and then stirs up to health; but for everyday life, the mixed society of elders, juniors and equals, which we get in a family, gives at the same time the most repose and the most room for individual development. We have all wondered at the good sense, reasonableness, fun and resourcefulness shown by a child in his own home as compared with the same child in school life.
I love this. It is so true. Why is it that our country has become so fixated on the thought that healthy development can only come by being surrounded by people only your own age? John Taylor Gatto addresses this in his book, Dumbing Us Down, and I wrote about it once before.
Discovering meaining for yourself as well as discovering satisfying purpose for yourself, is a big part of what education is. How this can be done by locking children away from the world is beyond me.
Yesterday I went to the library and saw the vast number of books in the collection that were devoted to getting kids excited about going to Kindergarten. It was really really sad. Kids aren’t made to be taken away and taught by their peers just because they turned 5. Now that my son is 5, I am feeling more sure about this than ever.
I totally agree with you. Do I really want the primary influencers of my child to be children his own age, children I don’t even get to choose? No way.
I couldn’t agree more. Thanks for a great reminder. I haven’t started doing anything with Bella at home (3 years) but I have so many friends starting their kids who are the same age in preschool type programs, etc. I think it’s crazy to start kids so early for anything. They are still babies at that age. Have a great Mother’s Day!
The whole socialization myth is one of my biggest anti-homeschooling pet peeves! People have it SO stuck in their heads that kids NEED to be around their peers in order to learn to socialize. Annoys me to no end! 😉
I read this a year or 2 ago and appreciated it. You all prlabboy will too.Probably every homeschooling parent has heard, But what about their socialization? at some point. It’s really a silly question when you think about it, and I think the following story puts socialization is the proper light. I found this on another woman’s blog, but the author is unknown.Two women meet at a playground where their children are swinging and playing ball. The women are sitting on a bench watching and eventually begin to talk.Woman #1: Hi, my name’s Maggie. Those are my three kids in the red shirts it helps me keep track of them.Woman #2: I’m Patty. Mine are in pink and yellow. Do you come here alot?W#1: Usually two or three times in a week, after we go to the library.W#2: Wow! Where do you find the time?W#1: We homeschool, so we do it during our day most of the time.W#2: Some of my neighbours homeschool, but my kids go to public school.W#1: How do you do it?W#2: It isn’t easy. I go to alot of PTA meetings and work with the kids everyday after school and stay really involved.W#1: Don’t you worry about socialization? Aren’t you worried about them being cooped up all the time with kids their own age? What if they never get the opportunity for natural relationships?W#2: Well, I work hard to balance that. They have some friends who are homeschooled and we try to visit their grandparents once a month.W#1: Sounds like you are a very dedicated mom. But don’t you worry about the opportunities they’re missing out on? I mean they’re so isolated from real life. How will they learn what the real world is like what people do to make a living how to get along with all different kinds of people?W#2: Oh, we discussed that at the PTA, and we started a fund to bring real people into the classrooms. Last month, we had a policeman and a doctor come in to talk to every class. And next month, we’re having a woman from Japan and man from Kenya come to speak.W#1: Oh, we met a man from Japan in the grocery store the other week, and he got to talking about his childhood in Tokyo. My kids were absolutely fascinated. We invited him to dinner and got to meet his wife and their three children.W#2: That’s nice. Hmmm. maybe we should plan some Japanese food for the lunchroom on Multicultural Day.W#1: Maybe your Japanese guest could eat with the children?W#2: Oh, no. She’s on a very tight schedule. She has two other schools to visit that day. It’s a system wide thing we’re doing.W#1: Oh, well maybe you’ll meet someone at the grocery store sometime and be able to invite them to dinner.W#2: I don’t think that is likely. I don’t talk to people in the grocery store certainly not people who might not speak my language. What if that Japanese man you met hadn’t spoken English?W#1: Well, I never had time to think about. Before I even saw him, my 6 year old had already asked him what he was going to do with all the oranges he was buying.W#2: You let your children talk to strangers?W#1: I was right there with him. He knows that as long as he is with me, he may speak to anyone he wishes.W#2: But you’re developing dangerous habits with him. My children never talk to strangers.W#1: Even if you’re there with them?W#2: They’re never with me. Except at home after school. So you see why it’s so important for them to understand that talking to strangers is a no-no.W#1: Well, yes. But if they are with you, they could get to meet interesting people and still be safe. They’d get a taste of the real world, in real settings. They’d also get a real feel for how to tell when a situation is dangerous or suspicious.W#2: They’ll get all that in the third and fifth grades of their health courses.W#1: Well, I can tell you’re a very caring mom. Let me give you my number if you ever want to talk, give me a call. It was good to meet you.Author unknown.