I’m going to try to address this without getting too emotional, but I will preface by saying that I couldn’t sleep last night because of this issue. One of my friends on Facebook had posted to her wall, and a debate (if you could call it that) ensued courtesy of one of her Christian friends. The man on facebook was saying that legalizing gay marriage is like legalizing child molestation. He was using inflammatory language and I was so sad to read what he wrote. This kind of stuff breaks my heart. I was laying in bed, thinking of everything that I was going to say, when I realized that I had way too much to fit into the little comment box on Facebook, so yeah…
If you’re friends with me on Facebook, then you probably saw that I recently linked to this discussion on Evangelical Politics. It is Chuck Colson, Greg Boyd, and Shane Claiborne speaking at the National Pastors Convention in San Diego in 2008. Joe and I watched it and stayed up WAY too late talking about it. We were both struck by how bizarre it was that Chuck Colson appeared to be in a completely different church than the rest of us. Honestly. It blew my mind. It was like he saw absolutely.nothing.wrong. Seriously! He said that he had never met people who were disrespectful of homosexuals in the church. Chuck? Are you with me? What church are you attending?
Shane and Greg both referred to the Unchurched survey, which helped Evangelicals to see that the #1 adjective that the unchurched use to describe Evangelicals was “homophobic”. #1! Way to go! Lets think about this for just one second. Jesus was known for drawing in people who were outcast from their society due to their sex lives. Is no one else bothered by the fact that the church is NOT like Jesus in this area? The church actively repulses the homosexual community. While 1/3 of heterosexuals fall into the “unchurched” category, 49% of homosexuals do. I know its shocking, but apparently the “God hates fags!” signs are pushing people away.
Not surprisingly, 72% of the people in the survey also said that the church is full of hypocrites. You think? Considering that I remember reading a few years ago that 90% of pastors admit to struggling with pornography. Guess what…. the numbers inside the church weren’t any better. It turns out that the church is filled with people who struggle with sexual sin, and yet we are pushing away others by our actions. Even in the video, Chuck Colson said that you only have to look at a naked man and a naked woman next to each other to see what is “normal”, and that obviously being gay is just not normal. That’s not helpful talk. We know that our church is struggling with lust, based on our own numbers, and that’s not any better. He said that gays would be welcome in the church if they stopped sinning like the rest of us have to. Uh, seriously? Do you think you attend a sinless church? The numbers don’t point that way.
I wanted to include a quote that Shane Claiborne said was from Billy Graham, and when I just googled it, a site came up for gay Christians. How ironic. Anyways, the quote from Billy Graham says
It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, it’s God’s job to judge, and it’s my job to love.
That sums it up. It is our job to love. It is our job to be love to the hurting people of the world. It is not our job to convict or judge, ESPECIALLY those outside of the church.
As Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:15
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.
I really feel that this whole issue underscores a general problem that we have in our church. A problem with being open, being honest, and being loving. I feel that we all see Christians acting this way, and it makes it much more difficult for those inside and outside of the church to be transparent, because such hateful language is used. We do not create a safe, loving environment. Sure, it happens in some churches (Joe is in a fantastic mens group that really embodies so much of what the church should be), but this is not the message that we are getting out to the masses. It is so sad.
I wish that Christians would stop trying to legislate morality, because (1) It doesn’t work, (2) It pushes people from the church, (3) We all suck too, so we just look like a bunch of hypocrites, and (4) Most importantly, we don’t expect ANYONE to change apart from a relationship with Christ. It is nothing but legalism and bondage to expect people to act differently without a relationship with Christ. We are so concerned that gays may raise kids in a family that doesn’t meet the tradtional (2 parent – 1 male/1 female) ideal, and yet the divorce rate in the church is PASSING the divorce rate amongst the unchurched. We have so far to go, and I think we’d do so much better to love and support everyone (while removing the log from our own eyes), rather than trying to micromanage others lives while we screw up our own.
<sigh> I don’t think that was very unemotional, lol. I need to go edit!
Edited to add: My pastor gave a great sermon a few weeks ago where he talked about how we need to accept that our church should be filled with all sorts of different people – different races, different socioeconomic backgrounds, Democrats and Republicans, straights, gays, transgenders, bisexuals… everything! That is God’s plan for our church, and we will be missing out if we try to limit who is welcome in church. Here is a link: Message Archives I’m pretty sure that it is the one on the top – the first of the “Get on the Bus” series. On a side note, today’s sermon was on the myth of redemptive violence. 😀
Edited to add another thing: Isn’t it funny that Jesus didn’t try to legislate this stuff? He certainly could’ve if he wanted to, but instead one of his TEMPTATIONS from the devil was for political power. Hmmm.
Jesus did tell a sexually-sinning woman to leave her life of sin.
This is part of the problem. We are ranking sins. “We” don’t have to leave our sins, but you have to leave “yours.” Sexual sinning matters to God but so does all the sinning that the rest of us do!
Absolutely. I totally agree. He still says that 🙂 I don’t think the church is doing a very good job of showing that we are all hurting and working out our faith daily. Instead, we often appear like a bunch of know-it-alls who want to tell other people what to do, while hiding our own sins. That’s why it is always such a big deal when a famous Christian is caught in sin. Its sad.
I think it is important to note that the woman had already had an experience with God when this happened. She wasn’t told to turn from her sin first.
Edited because I’m rambly today, lol.
Hello Amanda,
Thanks so much for your thoughts here — I think you summed up perfectly something that I’ve been struggling with for well over four years, re: the Christian church and its ranking of sin.
I’m a relatively recent convert (about 10 years ago now!), and know deep in my soul I’m a sinner in need of a Savior.
I came to Christ through Grace, Saved, Justified and Sanctified by Grace alone — it’s all grace. (“So that none may boast!”)
I think one of the reasons we ended up leaving our last fellowship was that no one was seeming to grasp this truth anymore.
I also can’t count the number of times I’ve thought “I wish that Christians would stop trying to legislate morality”!
Thank you for your thoughts, you are truly encouraging to me!
I’m totally with you, Amanda. It’s a big reason why Dave and I won’t even go to church anymore. We’re just fed up with the hypocrisy. Why is homosexuality a greater sin (it’s certainly treated as one) than all the premarital sex and adultery and divorce and pornography that Christian heterosexuals engage in?
It sounds like you go to a great church.
My husband has a lot of problems with the hypocrisy in church. When he was growing up he went to church regularly but he hasn’t been in years. I don’t know if he’ll ever go which is kind of sad. There are good churches out there but more of them should be good. Actually all of them should be good, shouldn’t they?
I love the quote from Billy Graham, it’s what I have been telling people for years.
Thanks for those honest, true thoughts Amanda. I am in a Yahoo Group w/ you – a book club on natural childbirth. Saw your blog link & decided to check it out – I’m so glad I did! Thanks for loving our Jesus by trying to imitate Him in loving others as He did.
Blessings,
Debbie
A very timely post. Thanks!
I agree the church is full of broken sinful people and all sin is equal in the sight of God.
But I think part of the church’s position on the issue us an openly homosexual person is living in open rebellion against the word of God rather than those who are calling themselves Christian and trying to live according to scripture.
The fact that Christians struggle with addiction is not the same as saying you think you were born to be gay, created gay or are incapable of living life as a heterosexual.
But all this information is still not the real issue. We as the church have to still bridge the gap between those who are mired in the homosexual lifestyle and we are Bible believing church attending holy ambassadors for Christ.
Jesus didn’t confront the sinners he came to reach in church. He left the religious church sinners to their congregating and walked among common people. He presented himself real and willing to fellowship with them without compromising the principles of scripture and with a timely word to address their needs and deep spiritual longings.
It is not about gays coming to our churches. A New Testament church is a place for those who want to submit to the authority of God and his leaders therein.
And you were right to mention people have to have an encounter with the Lord before they can change or want to change.
So we have to go out of our ways and comfort zones to love on and befriend people in alternative lifestyles outside of church. So God can use us to minister to them and be the light they so desperately need.
We need to show them that we love them without asking them to change. If we share Jesus with our actions while holding fast our integrity and devotion to what he has revealed to us it will lead to the conviction of their hearts and souls.
But we fail to engage from the pews. Maybe if people were busy serving others outside of church they wouldn’t have time for all the secret sins they struggle with :O lol sigh it’s not funny but it does make one think.
Amen, Amanda!!! You go, girl!!! I love how your remind us that Jesus loved and befriended and surrounded himself with those struggling with sexual sin & modern day Christians push away those very people. It reminds me of that song “If We Are the Body.”
I was searching your blog for books that I can get on tape or cd for our road trip in a week. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this post, and I missed it! I’m so glad I found it now anyway 🙂 It’s funny because I am not gay, but I am constantly being rejected by “Christians” for not being anti-gay. So not only are gay people being rejected, but so are heteros who aren’t anti-gay! Can I just say, Wow.
Love ya hon, Kelly