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  • The Beatitudes

    Matthew 5

    The Beatitudes

    1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying:
    3“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
    4Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
    5Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
    6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
    7Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
    8Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
    9Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called sons of God.
    10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.11“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

    Confession time: I’ve never really gotten the Beatitudes. I mean, I understand them, but I don’t think I’ve really strived to live them. Much on the contrary, I’ve used the more to help myself feel better in bad times. For example, when I was mourning, I thought “‘Blessed are those who mourn’, so this isn’t totally a bad thing.” I did NOT think “‘Blessed are those who mourn.’ I should mourn more in my regular life!

    Right now I am reading through Dr. Teresa Whitehurst’s How Would Jesus Raise a Child, and her chapter on the Beatitudes is making me think. She says

    If you want to become more like Jesus as a person and a parent, the Beatitudes are a wise and easy place to begin.

    So then she gives some examples of the way Jesus lived the Beatitudes and the way that the world lives. She says, for example, that Jesus tells us that when you’re gentle (meek), not harsh with others, you will inherit the earth. The world’s view is “Show ’em who’s boss. You gotta be cruel to be kind.”, etc.

    OK, so I understand what she’s saying there. Like I said, I don’t think I’ve done much striving to live them, but I get her point. I’ve always thought more about the Love verses or the fruits of the Spirit, etc.

    Then she starts talking about exactly the same thing as Charlotte Mason. I discussed it in my Trains of Thought entry. She says that humans have a hard time with change and are actually immune to it. The same thing CM said! Go figure

    …it short-circuits our goals. We want to lose weight, but can’t seem to overcome our immunity to change in the area of eating habits. We want to be more patient with our toddler but our “immune system” kicks in, preventing us from trying a new, calmer method for handling fussiness.

    So now I’ve read this twice in two weeks. Maybe God is trying to tell me something 😛 She goes on to give a great example

    When I was getting used to my laptop, it took me several days to unlearn the placement of the keys on my familiar old desktop computer. Some moves were so ingrained that I actually had to cover certain keys with tape so as not to hit them accidentally, erasing my work each time! So it goes with the challenging internal changes for which Jesus promised blessings and rewards in the Beatitudes. They will require that we “tape over” certain habitual ways of thinking and behavior so that we can begin to learn and use what Jesus taught. It may feel awkward at first, but if you inhibit your usual ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, eventually you will find that Jesus’ teachings are not impossible to incorporate in your life after all.

    I like the way that she built on the same ideas as CM. I like her example. I’ve experienced the same thing with a new keyboard, and I’ve also experienced that same difficulty when trying to change a bad habit. The fact is that you get used to the new way of life if you just stick with it.

    This also reminded me of when I first bought my new glasses. My dh is going through the same thing right now, so I can really empathize. I have progressive lenses. I have the strongest prescription at the bottom for reading, a moderate prescription for mid-distance (like the computer), and hardly any prescription at all for distance. For the first week or two, I felt terrible with these glasses. I kept getting dizzy. I was getting stabbing pains in my brain. It seemed bad. Then one day I could see and my brain had figured out which part of the glasses to look through for different activities. Now I can’t live without them!

    I think I need to apply some of these same principles in my life.

    So the last point that I wanted to discuss is her interpretation of Matthew 5:48 (“You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect”. This is a tough verse. We know we can’t be perfect. That’s why we need God. So what gives?

    I used to worry about this instruction. Then, after further study, I realized that Jesus didn’t say, “So be as perfect as God.” To say this would be to imply that we are on equal footing with God, with equal powers of perfection. Rather, what Jesus was urging his listeners to do was to take his teachings seriously and strive towards the ideal that God represents.

    I’m off to digest this some more. I’m sure I’ll write about it again!

  • Comparing our children

    Never compare yourself to others. You’ll become either vain or bitter.

    I’m reading the chapter on comparing siblings in Siblings Without Rivalry and it is making me think. As she discusses the way that criticizing or praising changes the way a child views themself, I am having a lot of a-ha moments.

    I am a very competitive person, and I would be lying if I said that I don’t care what other people think or do. Not only do I care, but I also strive to one up people. It’s terrible, but true. I am really trying hard to both fix it in myself and to teach my kids to do better.

    I have told myself that it is ok to occasionally tell my children things like “You can eat so much neater than the baby” or “Look how your sister went straight to her car seat and buckled herself.” Now I am cringing as I type those statements out because I see how I was building up pride and vanity while making my kids think they were better or more loved at the expense of the other one. It is something that I’ve just recently started doing, and I am kicking myself!

    Although I’m sure it made my dd proud to hear that I was happy that she buckled herself, it made my son feel as though he couldn’t measure up. When I told my son he could eat more neatly, then he told himself he was better than she is. I’m such a dunce!

    So instead of me saying “You picked up all of your toys!” and my son thinking “I’m great at cleaning up!”, I sometimes said “You don’t leave stuff around like your sister. She’s too young to clean up after herself.” and he thought “I’m better than her!” Grrrrreat P Not exactly the lesson I was trying to teach.

    This whole DescriptivePraise thing is tough for me. I naturally slip into “Good job!” and “That’s beautiful!” instead of “You folded all of the laundry!” or “Look at all of the lines that you drew!” (I almost put “beautiful lines” in my example! Ack!) This is something I need to concentrate on…

  • Romancing Your Husband

    A few years ago, my mother-in-law gave me this book and deeply encouraged me to read it. I was a bit |-| because, hel-lo, I was a newlywed and plenty of romancin’ was going on PAs I was listing some old books on paperbackswap, I came across this one. I thought I’d give it a chance and read it. Here’s my early thoughts.

    Why is it that so many (Christian) marriage books attempt to boost the marriage at the expense of the family? This drives me nuts!!! I realize that my MIL doesn’t have any kids around the house, so she probably didn’t think about this. Consider this quote from Chapter 1. Here she talks about how she planned for a getaway to a bed and breakfast with her husband and how she managed to get her kids to a friend’s house so they could get away.

    This doesn’t sound like much, but we had adopted our Vietnamese daugher, who was two at the time, and had only had her about six months. Pulling her from the orphanage deeply disturbed her and she screamed for almost two years after we got her. The whole time I was preparing to leave, Brooke was following me around the house, screaming as if she were being attacked.

    Come, let us reason together. WHY WOULD YOU ABANDON A SCREAMING CHILD WHO OBVIOUSLY HAD SOME KIND OF ATTACHMENT DISORDER SO THAT YOU COULD GO WALK AROUND NAKED AT A BED AND BREAKFAST?!?! (The naked part is later discussed.) Couldn’t she have romanced him in a less traumatic way for her new daughter? Couldn’t a solution have been found where no one had to suffer? Why does it have to either be the marriage or the whole family unit? This all-or-nothing thinking seems common in this book, and its driving me a bit batty.

    Our lives are full of seasons. I am not currently in the naked-at-the-Victorian-bed-and-breakfast season. Is that so hard for people to accept? The above scenario was the ONLY suggestion for romancing your husband.

    [Sigh] I hope it gets better.

  • Crochet Mary Jane slippers

    I saw that these were really popular on the shelves of Target last night, so I thought I’d come home and try to make a pair.My first one is done, and its super cute. I shortened the toe area so that it is lower down on the foot and then lengthened the slipper by the same amount. I’m loving it!

    Crochet Mary Janes

  • Working out feels so good

    Have you ever noticed that when you’re not exercising often, then exercising feels yucky. However, if you’re exercising regularly, then it just feels so great! Its really cool how our body adjusts, isn’t it?

    I thought I’d write about some yoga programs that I like, since that seems to be a common question in Christian circles. I’m not here to debate yoga, and I realize that there are many Christians who don’t feel comfortable with that. That’s perfectly fine by me! For me it falls into one of those categories of things that some people cannot do (perhaps because of past experiences with eastern religions, etc), but other people can do without stumbling. I don’t do it around people who struggle with it, but I find nothing wrong with the moves themselves. As Paul put it

    Romans 14:13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. 14As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food[b] is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. 15If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. 16Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. 17For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

    Anyhoo, back to the shows. Here’s my faves right now. I will admit that sometimes they say funky things, and when they do, I ignore them. I have friends who do the same thing P I am perfectly able to ignore, lol. Neither of these shows are too spiritual though, and anything they might say is more like what I’d hear my chiropractor or masseuse say ;)

    Inhale Yoga – This is the more vigorous workout of the two. It is high energy and they use Kirk Franklin songs (“GP are you with me?!”), which makes me smile. Its all upbeat music and the host is really sarcastic. I’ve worked out to this show for years, and I really like it. It plays on the Oxygen Network.

    Namaste Yoga – This is much more mellow. It is not a difficult workout, but it really reminds me to slow down and focus on the postures. It plays on FitTV.

    I hope you enjoy and that I don’t get flamed! LOL.

  • Watching over little hearts

    Proverbs 4:23 Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.

    I’ve been going back through Heartfelt Discipline, and just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to discuss some of its ideas on here )

    In the first chapter of Heartfelt Discipline, Clay Clarkson discusses the above verse and where many parents go wrong in their attempt to watch over their children’s hearts.

    You have to buy the book if you want all of the greek word study >>” src=”http://www.hippiemommy.com/public_html_b2/rsc/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif” /> (not to mention the other 99% of the first chapter!) but let me sum it up for you enough so we can discuss it <img decoding=

    The words used in this verse for “watch over” are used to refer to ideas like guarding a facility or being a watchman on the walls. These are ideas that convey guarding what goes INTO the heart rather than OUT of the heart.

    Let’s say there are two kinds of parents: those who watch over what comes out of their child’s heart and mind, and those who watch over what goes into their child’s heart and mind. The first group is vigilant to restrain their child’s sin (what comes out of the chlid’s heart). They carefully watch over their child’s words and actions so as to catch the sin as soon as it appears. When the child sins, there is an immediate and usually negative response from the parents…

    …rather than obsessing over what comes out of a child’s heart, an advocate parent focuses on what goes into his or her heart. Such parenting is all about cultivating “good soil” that will receive the truth of the gospel. The parents’ role is to prepare a child’s heart to receive the seed of the Word of God that will “lead to salvation.”

    Yes! I love this. So many parenting gurus want you to focus on what is coming OUT of the heart. That misses the point entirely! If you only change what comes out of the heart, then you are never REACHING the heart!

    To a busy, frustrated parent, applying purely practical solutions to a spiritual problem might seem to “work”: It stops the negative behavior. But such practical “solutions” gloss over the real, spiritual problem. Parents can almost always exercise enough power over younger children to gain control over a behavioral problem. But what happens when the parents aren’t around to monitor and control the child’s wrong behavior? If the root cause hasn’t been addressed, then the behavior will continue.

    It is our job to guide our children and to help them stay on the narrow path. When they stray, we help them back on. It doesn’t stop there though, there must be something done at the heart level, not just a quick bandaid.

    You are a Godly guide… training and instructing them about how to walk this path in order to find life as God intended it to be. You are also warning them about the dangers that would lead them away from the path and correcting them when they stray from the path. This full, biblical picture of discipline reflects an ongoing heart-to-heart relationship in which you are patiently and lovingly guiding the child.

    Childhood discipline is a process, not a formula, a list of rules, or a set of laws. Childhood discipline is about relationship and instruction, about parents seeking God’s wisdom, walking in the power of the Holy Spirit, and trusting God.

    I understand why parents long for an easy “10 steps to a perfect Christian child”, but that’s not the way the Bible works. Think of all of the details that God gave when it came to eating, which clothes to wear, how to shave beards, and how to build houses. He wasn’t that way with raising children. There are a few verses spread throughout the Bible that leave a lot open to interpretation. As I blogged about before, the verses in Deuteronomy and 1 Thes. are probably some of the most desciptive, but they still have a lot of wiggle room.

    Hmm, lots to think about ) What a great first chapter!

  • Watching my children blossom

    I had a really cool experience today, and I wanted to share D

    I realize that most of you have never met my kids (or me!), but let me start by saying that my oldest, who is 4, is normally a very “easy” child. He is very complaint, tender, and big hearted. I am so thankful that God blessed me with him first, because he is such an example of child-like faith and trust. He’s not normally prone to anger… instead he shows his hurt (if only I could do that without masking my hurt with anger!). He has taught me so much already, and I look forward to all of the lessons that I know he’ll teach me as he grows.

    So, with that said, you’ll understand why today left me shocked.

    We went out to eat for dinner, and he needed to go potty. Long story short: someone was in the handicapped stall and he FREAKED out. He was SCREAMING. For some reason he wanted that stall, and he was screaching that the other potty was too small and it was a big ol’ mess. He wouldn’t pee, then he was screaming at the top of his lungs. I was pretty mortified, to be honest. We walked out of the bathroom and everyone was looking at me as if I had taken him in there for a beating! I was firm, but gentle. I did everything that normally calms him down, and yet when we left the restaurant, I was still scratching my head. I could not figure out why that set him off or why his response was so extreme.

    Now, on a different note, we’ve been working on a lot of the ideas in Jane Nelson’s Positive Discipline. One of those strategies is to talk to your children at night about what was their saddest and their happiest moment for the day. Because of ds’ personality, most nights he doesn’t even have a saddest moment. He is just that upbeat. The idea is that by talking about these little happy and sad moments now, we are building a relationship where these same ideas can be discussed later. While they are young, it is helpful because it addresses those “big feelings” before it can snowball.

    As I was tucking ds into bed tonight, before we had even gotten to the point where I ask him about his day, he blurted out that he needed to talk to me about his saddest time today. He then gushed all of the big feelings that he was having in the bathroom, and it made PERFECT sense why he was so upset. I would’ve been upset too! He told me some ideas that he had for better ways to handle it in the future, and I left his room beaming tonight.

    I can’t even express in words how beautiful it is to see not only our relationship blossom, but also to see him grow and be able to problem solve and learn from less desirable (or socially acceptable) behaviors. We all have moments where we handle a situation wrong, but to be able to internalize and then think of solutions is such a higher level of thought. I feel so blessed that I didn’t turn to shaming or punishing him for that behavior. Just like God allows us as adults to think and then learn from our mistakes, he was able to do the same (and of course this wasn’t a sinful situation). To see that model working in my son was wonderful. I’m so proud of him and the little man that he is becoming.

  • Trains of thought

    From Home Education by Charlotte Mason (from the chapter “Habit is Ten Natures”)

    …it is as if every familiar train of thought made a rut in the nervous substance of the brain into which the thoughts run lightly of their own accord, and out of which they can only be got by an effort of will.

    I’ve been studying a lot about habit training and discipling recently. I really love Charlotte Mason’s descriptions of habits. Here she speaks of an older child who should “know better”, but was never trained properly and as such his brain now naturally functions in the other way.

    And to correct bad habits of speaking, for instance, it will not be enough for the child to intend to speak plainly and to try to speak plainly; he will not be able to do so habitually until some degree of new growth has taken place… whilst he is making efforts to form the new habit.

    Any sequence of mental action which has been frequently repeated, tends to perpetuate itself; so that we find ourselves automatically prompted to think, feel, or do what we have been before accustomed to think, feel, or do, under like circumstances, without any consciously formed purpose or anticipation of results.

    I know how true this is as an adult, even when we “know better”. If we have trained ourselves to habitually perform a bad habit, it is an effort to behave differently. I am just now considering how early these habits are formed and how much easier life will be for my children if they are already used to the good habits rather than having bad ones they have to break.

  • Grain mill

    I am so psyched! I just won a grain mill on eBay. Its new-in-box and it is a brand that I’ve been looking at for quite a while.

    Now I am on the hunt for recipes that use fresh flour. Anyone have links?

  • Life goals

    As you can see in my VoluntarySimplicity post, I have recently been thinking a lot about what is important to me and what is just a waste of my time. I’ve really been convicted on the many ways that I misuse my time, and so I’m trying to correct it.

    I decided to download and play with Life Balance, which is actually really cool. You write out your goals and the steps to get there and then it makes a to-do list for you that takes into account when you can do things, where you are going to be, and what must be done before other tasks can be done. I’m having fun playing with it. I found that they even have a plan you can download for Flylady (too bad I don’t use her system)!

    As dh and I talked about it last night, we realized that our weaknesses in this area are actually very complimentary. Where I am weak, he is strong; Where he is weak, I am strong. So now we are working together to see what we can do to help each other out.

    All of this has helped me realize that I have a lot of small goals that I was doing absolutely nothing to accomplish. They are important to me, but it does not appear that way when you look at my schedule. I’m hoping to change this.

    If you have realized the same thing, especially if you are a couple of steps ahead of me in putting those goals into action, please comment! I’d love to hear what you’ve done.

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