Category: Book Talk

  • Romancing Your Husband

    A few years ago, my mother-in-law gave me this book and deeply encouraged me to read it. I was a bit |-| because, hel-lo, I was a newlywed and plenty of romancin’ was going on PAs I was listing some old books on paperbackswap, I came across this one. I thought I’d give it a chance and read it. Here’s my early thoughts.

    Why is it that so many (Christian) marriage books attempt to boost the marriage at the expense of the family? This drives me nuts!!! I realize that my MIL doesn’t have any kids around the house, so she probably didn’t think about this. Consider this quote from Chapter 1. Here she talks about how she planned for a getaway to a bed and breakfast with her husband and how she managed to get her kids to a friend’s house so they could get away.

    This doesn’t sound like much, but we had adopted our Vietnamese daugher, who was two at the time, and had only had her about six months. Pulling her from the orphanage deeply disturbed her and she screamed for almost two years after we got her. The whole time I was preparing to leave, Brooke was following me around the house, screaming as if she were being attacked.

    Come, let us reason together. WHY WOULD YOU ABANDON A SCREAMING CHILD WHO OBVIOUSLY HAD SOME KIND OF ATTACHMENT DISORDER SO THAT YOU COULD GO WALK AROUND NAKED AT A BED AND BREAKFAST?!?! (The naked part is later discussed.) Couldn’t she have romanced him in a less traumatic way for her new daughter? Couldn’t a solution have been found where no one had to suffer? Why does it have to either be the marriage or the whole family unit? This all-or-nothing thinking seems common in this book, and its driving me a bit batty.

    Our lives are full of seasons. I am not currently in the naked-at-the-Victorian-bed-and-breakfast season. Is that so hard for people to accept? The above scenario was the ONLY suggestion for romancing your husband.

    [Sigh] I hope it gets better.

  • Watching over little hearts

    Proverbs 4:23 Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.

    I’ve been going back through Heartfelt Discipline, and just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to discuss some of its ideas on here )

    In the first chapter of Heartfelt Discipline, Clay Clarkson discusses the above verse and where many parents go wrong in their attempt to watch over their children’s hearts.

    You have to buy the book if you want all of the greek word study >>” src=”http://www.hippiemommy.com/public_html_b2/rsc/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif” /> (not to mention the other 99% of the first chapter!) but let me sum it up for you enough so we can discuss it  <img decoding=

    The words used in this verse for “watch over” are used to refer to ideas like guarding a facility or being a watchman on the walls. These are ideas that convey guarding what goes INTO the heart rather than OUT of the heart.

    Let’s say there are two kinds of parents: those who watch over what comes out of their child’s heart and mind, and those who watch over what goes into their child’s heart and mind. The first group is vigilant to restrain their child’s sin (what comes out of the chlid’s heart). They carefully watch over their child’s words and actions so as to catch the sin as soon as it appears. When the child sins, there is an immediate and usually negative response from the parents…

    …rather than obsessing over what comes out of a child’s heart, an advocate parent focuses on what goes into his or her heart. Such parenting is all about cultivating “good soil” that will receive the truth of the gospel. The parents’ role is to prepare a child’s heart to receive the seed of the Word of God that will “lead to salvation.”

    Yes! I love this. So many parenting gurus want you to focus on what is coming OUT of the heart. That misses the point entirely! If you only change what comes out of the heart, then you are never REACHING the heart!

    To a busy, frustrated parent, applying purely practical solutions to a spiritual problem might seem to “work”: It stops the negative behavior. But such practical “solutions” gloss over the real, spiritual problem. Parents can almost always exercise enough power over younger children to gain control over a behavioral problem. But what happens when the parents aren’t around to monitor and control the child’s wrong behavior? If the root cause hasn’t been addressed, then the behavior will continue.

    It is our job to guide our children and to help them stay on the narrow path. When they stray, we help them back on. It doesn’t stop there though, there must be something done at the heart level, not just a quick bandaid.

    You are a Godly guide… training and instructing them about how to walk this path in order to find life as God intended it to be. You are also warning them about the dangers that would lead them away from the path and correcting them when they stray from the path. This full, biblical picture of discipline reflects an ongoing heart-to-heart relationship in which you are patiently and lovingly guiding the child.

    Childhood discipline is a process, not a formula, a list of rules, or a set of laws. Childhood discipline is about relationship and instruction, about parents seeking God’s wisdom, walking in the power of the Holy Spirit, and trusting God.

    I understand why parents long for an easy “10 steps to a perfect Christian child”, but that’s not the way the Bible works. Think of all of the details that God gave when it came to eating, which clothes to wear, how to shave beards, and how to build houses. He wasn’t that way with raising children. There are a few verses spread throughout the Bible that leave a lot open to interpretation. As I blogged about before, the verses in Deuteronomy and 1 Thes. are probably some of the most desciptive, but they still have a lot of wiggle room.

    Hmm, lots to think about ) What a great first chapter!

  • Trains of thought

    From Home Education by Charlotte Mason (from the chapter “Habit is Ten Natures”)

    …it is as if every familiar train of thought made a rut in the nervous substance of the brain into which the thoughts run lightly of their own accord, and out of which they can only be got by an effort of will.

    I’ve been studying a lot about habit training and discipling recently. I really love Charlotte Mason’s descriptions of habits. Here she speaks of an older child who should “know better”, but was never trained properly and as such his brain now naturally functions in the other way.

    And to correct bad habits of speaking, for instance, it will not be enough for the child to intend to speak plainly and to try to speak plainly; he will not be able to do so habitually until some degree of new growth has taken place… whilst he is making efforts to form the new habit.

    Any sequence of mental action which has been frequently repeated, tends to perpetuate itself; so that we find ourselves automatically prompted to think, feel, or do what we have been before accustomed to think, feel, or do, under like circumstances, without any consciously formed purpose or anticipation of results.

    I know how true this is as an adult, even when we “know better”. If we have trained ourselves to habitually perform a bad habit, it is an effort to behave differently. I am just now considering how early these habits are formed and how much easier life will be for my children if they are already used to the good habits rather than having bad ones they have to break.

  • Life goals

    As you can see in my VoluntarySimplicity post, I have recently been thinking a lot about what is important to me and what is just a waste of my time. I’ve really been convicted on the many ways that I misuse my time, and so I’m trying to correct it.

    I decided to download and play with Life Balance, which is actually really cool. You write out your goals and the steps to get there and then it makes a to-do list for you that takes into account when you can do things, where you are going to be, and what must be done before other tasks can be done. I’m having fun playing with it. I found that they even have a plan you can download for Flylady (too bad I don’t use her system)!

    As dh and I talked about it last night, we realized that our weaknesses in this area are actually very complimentary. Where I am weak, he is strong; Where he is weak, I am strong. So now we are working together to see what we can do to help each other out.

    All of this has helped me realize that I have a lot of small goals that I was doing absolutely nothing to accomplish. They are important to me, but it does not appear that way when you look at my schedule. I’m hoping to change this.

    If you have realized the same thing, especially if you are a couple of steps ahead of me in putting those goals into action, please comment! I’d love to hear what you’ve done.

  • Voluntary simplicity

    Contrary to some reports, simplicity is not about deprivation. Those practicing simplicity in North America typically are quite comfortable by global standards. They only thing they’ve given up is the unnecessary and unsatisfying excess that is common in America. In exchange, they receive the luxury of time, peace of mind, and happiness. – Marie Sherlock Living Simply With Children

    I’ve never been that simple of a girl. Actually, I’ve always been a bit more of a material girl. I’ve been feeling led to change this though. All of the sudden I am having living-off-the-grid dreams. Its crazy.

    I went to the library and checked out a few books on Voluntary Simplicity (I figured that it wouldn’t be very simple of me to purchase them!) I’m really enjoying what I’m learning.

    We’ve already had a few family meetings about things that we can do as a family to simplify our life. We’ve talked about the goals that are truly important to us and what we can do to trim down the parts of our life that aren’t advancing us towards those goals. Its amazing to see how much of my time has been wasted on things that do not further my goals AT ALL. There are things that I feel that God is guiding me to, and yet I was spending my time in areas that were completely unrelated.

    So dh has really jumped on board, and we are finally working on a project that not only furthers our goals, but also allows us more time together. Its really, really cool.

    For the kids, we are working on reducing television and increasing family game times. I don’t mean board games, although we’ve done that too, but I just mean getting down and playing with them in any way they want. Its been a great reminder of how much I want to spend time with my children and grow in relationship with them. I don’t have a goal for them to know every song that Dora sings P

    Anyways, I wanted to go ahead and add a blog category for Voluntary Simplicity. I’ll probably put in a couple of entries from the books that I’m reading because it has given me a lot to think about. I don’t think I’ll be throwing away my Treo or my SUV anytime soon, but the little changes are already making a huge difference.

  • A vision for our homes

    I want my home to be a laboratory of life, a place where my children and husband may flourish and feel loved, encouraged, spiritually refreshed, and emotionally prepared to face the work God has for them in life. I want it to be a place where they can learn in safety yet be challenged to grow.

    Isn’t that an awesome quote?

    Yesterday I was reading and thinking, and this quote just jumped off of the page. This is exactly what I want for my family. What a beautiful vision!

    I also want my home to be the best place to be in the minds of my family. Peace and acceptance, excellence and a passion for living, comfort and funn–I want all these qualities to come to my children’s minds when they think about home. If I can succeed in creating a nurturing environment that speaks peace to their souls even as it helps them grow, I will feel that I have done my job as keeper of my domain.

    ::nodding emphatically::

    …Chores are done the same way each day, week, and month of the year so that our children know what to do and when. Each child has a part of the kitchen to do… Whoever cooks does not have to spend time cleaning the kitchen. Rooms are to be picked up at a certain time before dinner… My sons will definitely know how to be a help to their wives because home maintenance was a routine part of their daily lives

    See, this is a big part of why I love this book. It talks about all of the weys to create the “traditional” comforts of a home, and yet it is not sexist at all. It treats all children equal when it comes to responsibility. Girls learn to think and boys learn to clean up after themselves. One is not at home cleaning up while the other one gets to explore. Go figure!

    Earlier today I was researching a curriculum that someone had mentioned, and these were the skills taught for the boys and girls. Note that the boys get to learn leadership skills, literature, public speaking skills and “knowledge” while the girls get to do basketweaving. Yay!

    For the boys:

    BIBLICAL MANHOOD 16

    Bible Memory 17
    Bible Reading 20
    Personal Journal 24
    Prayer Warrior 25
    Proverbs Study for Boys 27

    FIELD AND FOREST 42

    Archery 43
    Birds 48
    Butterflies 51
    Camping 55
    Ecology 60
    Horses 63
    Insects 66
    Outdoor Life 71
    Plants 76
    Pocketknife 82
    Trees 84
    Wildlife 88

    KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS 93

    Astronomy 94
    Chess 99
    Computers 102
    Drawing .106
    Electricity 110
    Finances 115
    Fire Safety 118
    First Aid 121
    Foreign Language 123
    Gardening 125
    Genealogy 132
    Health and Fitness 136
    Home Care 141
    Hygiene 144
    Kites 148
    Knots 155
    Leatherworking 167
    Models .174
    Oil Painting 178
    Pets 182
    Photography 185
    Poetry 188
    Rocketry 192
    Rocks and Minerals 198
    Sign Language 203
    Small Engine Repair 205
    Stamp Collecting 208
    Tools 212
    Typing 224
    Watercolors 226
    Weather 228
    Woodburning 233
    Woodcarving 236
    Woodworking 243

    LEADERSHIP 247

    Biography 248
    Library 254
    Literature 257
    Music 260
    Organization 264
    Propriety 265
    Public Speaking 267
    Scheduling 269
    Scholarship 274
    Stewardship 277
    Storytelling 282
    Teaching 284
    Writing 286

    OTHERS 291

    Bus Worker 292
    Church 294
    Family 297
    Friends 303
    Grandparents 307
    Great Commission 310
    Letters 311
    Love 315
    Missionary 320
    Neighbor 322
    Others 325
    Rest Home 327
    Special Needs 329
    Widows 333

    RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES 335

    Badminton 336
    Bicycle 338
    Croquet 342
    Fishing 344
    Golf 347
    Hiking 350
    Ice Skating 354
    Swimming 357
    Table Tennis 356
    Tennis 357
    Volleyball 359

    and the full girls’ list

    General Information

    Purpose, Goal, Verse, Prayer 12
    Keepers at Home Theme Song 13
    Achievement Awards 14
    Biblical Girlhood 16
    Bible Memory 17
    Bible Reading 20
    Personal Journal 24
    Prayer Warrior 25

    Creative Skills 27

    Basketweaving 29
    Calligraphy 33
    Candlemaking 36
    Candlewicking .43
    Ceramics 47
    Counted Cross Stitch .49
    Crewel Embroidery 53
    Crochet 56
    Decoupage 58
    Dollmaking 60
    Drawing 63
    Embossing 67
    Embroidery 71
    Flower Arrangement 75
    Knitting 78
    Latch Hooking 82
    Macrame 84
    Miniatures 91
    Needlepoint 92
    Oil Painting 96
    Photography 100
    Plastic Canvas 103
    Pressed Flowers 106
    Quilling 110
    Quilting 115
    Rubber Stamping 120
    Scrapbooking 124
    Spinning 127
    Stenciling 130
    Tatting 133
    Tole Painting 136
    Watercolors 140
    Weaving 142
    Homemaking 147
    Baking 148
    Budgeting 150
    Cake Decorating 153
    Camping 155
    Cleaning 157
    Cooking 160
    Fire Safety 166
    First Aid 169
    Food Preservation 171
    Gardening 175
    Health and Fitness 182
    Home Decorating 187
    Hygiene 189
    Ironing 193
    Laundry 194
    Organization 196
    Proverbs 31 Study for Girls 199
    Scheduling 209
    Sewing 214
    Soapmaking 216
    Knowledge and Skills 220
    Biography 221
    Computer. 227
    Foreign Language 230
    Genealogy 232
    Library 236
    Literature 239
    Music 242
    Poetry 244
    Sign Language 248
    Storytelling 250
    Teaching 252
    Typing 254
    Writing 256
    Nature 260
    Birds 261
    Butterflies 264
    Flowers 268
    Horses 270
    Insects 273
    Pets 278
    Trees 281
    Wildflowers 285
    Others 287
    Bus Worker 288
    Child Care 290
    Church 292
    Ecology 295
    Etiquette 298
    Family 300
    Friends 306
    Grandparents 310
    Hospitality 313
    Letters 316
    Love 320
    Missionary 325
    Neighbor 327
    Others 330
    Rest Home 332
    Special Needs 334
    Witnessing 338

    Recreational Activities 339

    Badminton 340
    Bicycle 342
    Croquet 346
    Hiking 348
    Ice Skating 352
    Swimming 353
    Table Tennis 354
    Tennis 355
    Volleyball 357

  • Girl Power!?

    I am not making this up.

    Just in time for my entries on Female Chauvinist Pigs – look what I found in the $1 section at Target. I had to pull out my Treo and take a pic.

    That’s right, America. This is what we consider “empowering” for our girls. Our future women.

    Wow. How “Girl Power!” of them. Apparently lipstick, hair spray, short skirts, go-go boots, and plunging necklines make us quite powerful, ladies.

    Is it any wonder that women feel that they are empowered by acting and looking sleazy? Its taught to us from the time we’re in elementary school

  • Why do we have to fit into a stereotype to be sexy?

    I must say that since my last post on Female Chauvinist Pigs, my search engine hits have been some odd ones. You would not believe how many people search for “hippie p*rn” |-|

    But now, continuing my thoughts from my reading of Female Chauvinist Pigs D

    Ariel Levy talks about an interview that she has with Christie Hefner, Hugh’s daughter and CEO of Playboy. During this interview, Hefner talks about how she views the playboy bunny logo…

    …[The bunny logo] symbolizes sexy fun, a little bit of rebelliousness, the same way a navel ring does… or low rider jeans! It’s an obvious I’m taking control of how I look and the statement I’m making as opposed to I’m embarassed about it or I’m uncomfortable with it.

    Levy points out in her book that if you’re looking at it in this way, then you will fall into the trap that I spoke of in my last post.

    I think that has more to do with the current accepted wisdom that Hefner articulated so precisely: The only alternative to enjoying Playboy (or flashing for Girls Gone Wild or getting implants, or reading Jenna Jamenson’s memoir) is being “uncomfortable” with and “embarassed” about your sexuality. Raunch culture, then, isn’t an entertainment option, its a litmus test of female uptightness.

    So then Hefner goes on to talk about how olympic atheletes, lawyers, mothers… all sorts of women appear in Playboy. Playboy, in her opinion, appreciated all sorts of women and helped women to prove they were sexy (one example she gave was that the Olympians proved in their spread that they could be atheletic and sexy).

    But Levy responds that as you flip through the pages, the Olympians have been molded into the same look that every other playmate has. Its not celebrating what they do – its making them into what everyone else is.

    Why can’t we be sexy and frisky and in control without being commodified? Why do you have to be in Playboy to express “I don’t think athleticism is at odds with being sexy?” If you really believed you were both sexy and athletic, wouldn’t it be enough to play your sport with your flawless body and your face gripped with passion in front of the eyes of the world? Rather than showing that we’re finally ready to think of “Sexy” and “athletic” as mutually inclusive, the Olympian spread revealed how we still imagine these two traits need to be cobbled together: The athletes had to be taken out of context, the purposeful eyes-on-the-prize stare you see on the field had to be replaced with coquettish lash-batting, the fast-moving legs had to be splayed apart.

    :nodding:

    That women are now doing this to ourselves isn’t some kind of triumph, it’s depressing. Seuxuality is inherent… yet somehow we have accepted as fact the myth that sexiness needs to be something divorced from the everyday experience of being ourselves.

    I really appreciate the angle from which she is approaching this subject. I’ve been noticing examples of it everywhere in life. Its really fascinating.

  • Do animals have souls? How about women?

    Nice, huh?

    I’m reading Diet for a New America (love it!) and the discussion of the way that we treat animals in our culture has been really interesting. I found this quote and just had to research it.

    The official position of the Catholic Church has long been that animals don’t have souls. During a Church council in the middle ages a vote was taken on whether women and animals have souls. Women squeaked by. Animals lost.

    Honestly, this seems to be pretty debated when I looked it up online. I know that I have quite a few Catholic mamas who read my blog, so please let me know if you can confirm or deny this claim ) The internet opinion seems to be pretty split on whether or not it happened.

    Whether or not this is true, this book has really given me some food for thought on the animal rights issue. I’ve always said that my veg*nism is due to health reasons, not animal rights. The more that I read about factory farming practices, the more upset I am. Animals are not treated with dignity or respect. They are treated in ways that would cause the humane society to seize the animals if it were a home. Its sick. Really sick.

    This week we have new baby birds outside on our front porch. The mother and father bird (I’m assuming? There’s two of them.) have been carefully taking turns feeding and watching their babies. Its been so cool to watch and the kids have been so excited to see the birds grow each day. Its been really neat. I’m sure it is what made me extra sensitive to this quote

    Male chicks, of course, have little use in the manufacture of eggs. So what do you think happens to the males? How are the little fellows greeted when, having pecked their way out of their shells, expecting to be met by the warmth of a waiting mother hen, they look around and seek to begin their lives on earth?

    They are, literally, thrown away. We watched at one hatchery as ‘chicken-pullers’ weeded males from each tray and dropped them into heavy-duty plastic bags. Our guide explaines: ‘We put them in a bag and let them suffocate.’

    ( That sucks.

    Reading about their living conditions, lives, and treatment really struck me. My kids still eat eggs. The fact is that I could never go and do this to an animal, yet I pay to have it done all the time. :sigh: I have thinking to do.

  • Why do we put up with it?

    Oprah recently aired a show entitled “Stupid Girls” which tackled the role of women in our society. Ariel Levy appeared on that show after Pink talked about her song “Stupid Girls.” Levy wrote Female Chauvinist Pigs – Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture and as she spoke about it I was instantly intrigued.

    Levy was on the show along with a girl who was a recruiter for the Girls Gone Wild videos. Levy talked about how if men were male chauvinist pigs before – exploiting women – now women were taking over for them by exploiting each other and ourselves. The girl from GGW talked about how she convinced women to appear on the videos FOR FREE and how it was their own fault if they regretted it. These women were somehow convinced that appearing on these videos was empowering.

    Levy and Pink both mentioned on the show that almost anyone could name a sleezy star (Paris Hilton, Jenna Jamenson, etc), and yet we are hard pressed to name an intelligent successful young woman who isn’t getting ahead through sex.

    At the same time, our culture is leading us to believe that in order to be sexy, we need to be like porn stars or strippers. Breast implants jumped by about 700% between ’92 and ’04, from 32,607 a year to 264,041 a year. Surgeries are on the rise for vaginoplasty and labia operations that do not increase pleasure, but make it look more like a porn star or stripper’s parts. Are we completely forgetting that their job is to IMITATE arousal? They are a cheap replica of the real thing, and women are now being led to believe that to be sexy we must imitate the imitators! How ridiculous is that?!

    Levy says:

    This may seem confusing considering the “swing to the right” this country has taken, but raunch culture transcends elections. The values people vote for are not necessarily the same values they live by. No region of the United States has a higher divorce rate than the Bible Belt. (The divorce rate in these southern states is roughly fifty percent above the national average.) In fact, eight of the ten states that lead in national divorce are red, whereas the state with the lowest divorce rate in the country is deep blue Massachusetts. Even if people consider themselves conservative or vote Republican, their political ideas may be just that: a reflection of the way they wish things were in America, rather than a product of the way they actually experience it.

    She talks about how at the same time Bush was elected to his second term, the number one tv show in red areas like Atlanta (which voted 58% for Bush) was Desperate Housewives, which far from promotes family values or great women role models.

    She then says

    Playboy is likewise far more popular in conservative Wyoming than in liberal New York

    Ah. That’s nice to hear.

    So why is it that we accept the porn stereotypes as the norm? Why are we considering that to be sexy? Why do women go around wearing Playboy bunnies and “porn star” shirts and consider themselves liberated and sexually free? That is the most ridiculous thing I can think of!

    I’ll definitely write more about this later )

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