My Children Archives - HippieMommy

Although my children are still very young, I am still awed when I get to see them growing into who they will become. Everytime something like this happens, it makes me feel a little tinge of what Sally Clarkson talks about in The Mission of Motherhood

…As I pondered these thoughts, I was drawn back to the picture before me. How blessed I was to see that the kind of family I had dreamed of was indeed, by God’s grace, standing before me. Yet it had been years in the making, and the process had been fraught with challenges every step of the way… I had spent years praying and faithfully working to live out the dream that was in my heart… I had wondered if my dream would ever become a reality. But now I could see that… it was really happening.

I am definitely not to the point in my kids lives (they’re 2 and 4!) where I could make quite the same declaration, but it is happening on a mini scale each day.

This morning I was trying to get the house ready for yet another home showing. It is tedius and frustrating to try to keep the house perfect as we try to sell it, and last night I was so exhausted that I went to sleep with dishes in the sink and Lego’s on the floor. My kids are generally responsible for cleaning up their toys, and when there is a showing, my 4yo picks up the main level, the basement, and the bedrooms (on his own, without me asking) while I clean the kitchen and bathrooms. Then he vacuums all of the levels while I mop and then go behind him and vacuum anything he misses. He is such a sweetheart. As soon as he starts helping, my 2yo jumps right in.

I was thinking about how sweet he is and how generous he is when it comes to helping me pick up my messes, so I decided this morning to pick up his Lego’s for him while breakfast cooked. He was in the other room playing, so I quietly grabbed the empty Lego box and threw a couple of pieces in. I guess I wasn’t quiet enough, because he ran in the room with another box, smiled at me, and started cleaning. My daughter saw him, and she ran in and started helping me too.

Now, a few minutes later, breakfast is out and my house is cleaned up. My stress levels are way down, and a big part of it has to do with the fact that we are striving as a family to serve rather than be served. This is not a natural gifting for me in the least, so I think that makes it all the more special. Its just so cool to see your vision for your family as it becomes reality. Its amazing. God is so good.

I had a really cool experience today, and I wanted to share

I realize that most of you have never met my kids (or me!), but let me start by saying that my oldest, who is 4, is normally a very “easy” child. He is very complaint, tender, and big hearted. I am so thankful that God blessed me with him first, because he is such an example of child-like faith and trust. He’s not normally prone to anger… instead he shows his hurt (if only I could do that without masking my hurt with anger!). He has taught me so much already, and I look forward to all of the lessons that I know he’ll teach me as he grows.

So, with that said, you’ll understand why today left me shocked.

We went out to eat for dinner, and he needed to go potty. Long story short: someone was in the handicapped stall and he FREAKED out. He was SCREAMING. For some reason he wanted that stall, and he was screaching that the other potty was too small and it was a big ol’ mess. He wouldn’t pee, then he was screaming at the top of his lungs. I was pretty mortified, to be honest. We walked out of the bathroom and everyone was looking at me as if I had taken him in there for a beating! I was firm, but gentle. I did everything that normally calms him down, and yet when we left the restaurant, I was still scratching my head. I could not figure out why that set him off or why his response was so extreme.

Now, on a different note, we’ve been working on a lot of the ideas in Jane Nelson’s Positive Discipline. One of those strategies is to talk to your children at night about what was their saddest and their happiest moment for the day. Because of ds’ personality, most nights he doesn’t even have a saddest moment. He is just that upbeat. The idea is that by talking about these little happy and sad moments now, we are building a relationship where these same ideas can be discussed later. While they are young, it is helpful because it addresses those “big feelings” before it can snowball.

As I was tucking ds into bed tonight, before we had even gotten to the point where I ask him about his day, he blurted out that he needed to talk to me about his saddest time today. He then gushed all of the big feelings that he was having in the bathroom, and it made PERFECT sense why he was so upset. I would’ve been upset too! He told me some ideas that he had for better ways to handle it in the future, and I left his room beaming tonight.

I can’t even express in words how beautiful it is to see not only our relationship blossom, but also to see him grow and be able to problem solve and learn from less desirable (or socially acceptable) behaviors. We all have moments where we handle a situation wrong, but to be able to internalize and then think of solutions is such a higher level of thought. I feel so blessed that I didn’t turn to shaming or punishing him for that behavior. Just like God allows us as adults to think and then learn from our mistakes, he was able to do the same (and of course this wasn’t a sinful situation). To see that model working in my son was wonderful. I’m so proud of him and the little man that he is becoming.

Another proud moment

Watching my children blossom