Hippiemommy

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  • 52 books… Want to join me?

    This year I’m trying to read 52 books. I’m currently right on track, woohoo! My handy Kindle has been a great help, because I can read behind my nursling’s head without distracting her. Turning pages on a real book inevitably makes her reach and grab. Hooray for e-ink!

    So, here are my first three books of the year:

    #1 – Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
    Jane Eyre

    I really have no idea how I made it this far in my life without reading Jane Eyre. It was such a great book. I have every intention of re-reading it, because I loved it so much. I was excited to find out that a new movie version is going to be released soon. I definitely want to see it!

    #2 – Listening to Your Hormones by Gillian Ford
    This really wasn’t a bad book, but it wasn’t my absolute favorite. She has a lot of great information about hormones and the female reproductive system, but I didn’t like how much she focused on taking hormones as a remedy. I think her approach is valuable for women with serious problems, but that most women could benefit from more natural remedies.

    #3 – Lives in the Balance: Nurses’ Stories from the ICU
    Lives in the Balance
    Admittedly, I decided to read this book when I saw that it was offered for free on the Kindle. I was nursing a sleepy baby and wanted something new to read while she dozed off…

    Although this book was clearly not penned by professional authors, it is still quite good. I enjoyed it, and I appreciated the glimpse into the lives of nurses in the ICU. It was far less gory than I expected, and instead focused almost exclusively on the emotional and relational aspects of the job. I’m really glad that I gave it a try.

    ….And, I have one more book that I want to mention, even though I technically read it last year (I finished on December 28th.)


    Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption
    Unbroken
    I am a make-love-not-war kind of girl, so I wasn’t sure how interested I’d be in a story that revolves around war and the cruelties that take place therein. I am SO glad that I decided to read it. The story is very well-told, and it was difficult to put down even during the parts of the book that dealt with sensitive subject matters. You really couldn’t ask for a better message, and I found this story to be really inspiring.

    In reading Unbroken, I was reminded of how lacking my modern history exposure was in high school. Inevitably, we’d run out of time before the end of the year, so we’d learn something like “…then there was the great depression, two world wars, Kennedy, Vietnam, Reagan, and then today!” We never went into any detail. Reading more details about the second World War was fascinating. I can imagine reading portions of this book with my children when they’re older (maybe the whole thing… when they’re MUCH older), because she does such a great job of making the topic engaging. It is truly a Living Book, as Charlotte Mason would say.

    Well, I’m off to read some more. I hope everyone is having a great new year!

  • Slowing down

    Tonight my almost 3-year-old was having a tough time at dinner. She doesn’t really nap anymore, and every couple of days it catches up to her and she is sleepy before her normal bedtime. I asked if she wanted to go upstairs to lay down and snuggle for a few minutes. I wasn’t sure if she’d fall asleep or if we’d just have a little time of connection and then she’d be off on her way.

    We talked for a few minutes and then she started drifting to sleep. Falling asleep is seemingly so unremarkable, but the beauty of the moment always makes me smile. I love to watch a toddlers’ eyes as they dance and sparkle. I only wish that we, as adults, could maintain that same quality in our eyes when we are awake. Soon, as sleep starts to set in, their eyes get quiet. Their eyelids start to get heavy. Their breaths become deep and rhythmic, like a perfect yoga session. It is one of those moments that always humbles me. The peace is contagious. I can’t help but breathe a little slower and relax my body too.

    Tonight I laid there and thought about how easy it is to fall into a trap of thinking that you need to train your children to sleep, and then you’d miss out on watching these little daily miracles. It happens so much in our culture. We are encouraged to improve upon things. Babies fall asleep while nursing, but the books say that she must play after she eats! Humans are so resilient. We adapt even when our nature, our best system, is screwed with. It tricks people into thinking that just because something seems easier then it must be the “right” thing to do. If only life were so black and white that the easiest thing was the “right” thing 😉

    It seems so cliche, but tonight I am thankful for the opportunity to be able to slow down, enjoy the breathtaking moments that are so easy to miss, and be present. It is so hard sometimes, but so centering. I missed a lot more of them with my oldest because I felt far more pressured by society to make him an “independent” sleeper or a “self-soother”. I am thankful for the opportunity to savor these moments now with each of my kids. Life passes so quickly.

  • The Containerization of our Children

    LOVE this article!
    The Containerization of Infants

    The article talks about the huge changes that have happened in just two generations…

    recent research study replicated a study done in the 1940’s, in which psychological researchers asked kids age 3, 5, and 7 to do a number of exercises. Today’s 5 year olds were acting at a level of 3 year olds, 60 years ago, and today’s 7 year olds were barely approaching the level of the 5 year old (1, 4, 5). In the 1940’s, children were reported to walk at 8-12 months of age, now children are reported to begin walking at 12-15 months of age (2). Realistically speaking that is only a generation ago; that’s a huge decline in functional performance in a relatively short time span.

    I’ve read about this in other places as well. Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering is the first book that comes to mind. Both Dr. Sarah Buckley (author of GBGM) and Brandi Breitback (author of the above article) focus on the importance of vestibular stimuli. In other words, a big part of how our babies learn is by experiencing the world around them through natural movement. Being in an infant bucket for many hours each day means that your baby is only checking out the ceiling (or sun hood), and her inner ear is not getting to register the movement that is NEEDED for their brain to develop. It is so important!

    As Dr. Sarah Buckley says,

    Movement stimulates the vestibular (balance) center and the cerebellum, at the base of the brain, helping to establish brain-wiring connections that have major consequences for later brain development. For example, an area called the cerebellar vermis, which is stimulated by movement, is now thought to be a crucial region for mental health in adulthood.

    As the article says,

    As we look back at how infants were cared for one to two generations ago, we can imagine that infants had much more exposure to movement and seeing the world from changing angles and depths. It is more likely that a mother of generations ago would put her baby in one arm or on her hip and go about her day; the baby at that point experiences several positional changes from the mother’s body moving, as well as from the mother likely changing holds on the baby. In this manner, the baby is then experiencing changing vestibular and proprioceptive inputs that are natural to a mother’s movement and gravitational force. Baby-carrying provides the elements of pressure, motion, pleasure, warmth, security, sound that is essential to the development of the vestibular nervous system

    We were at the Apple store the other day, and the employees were shocked at my husband and I. It wasn’t because we had 4 kids — as a matter of fact, 3 of them were not with us. We only had our 4-month-old, and we were carrying her in-arms. I had a clean diaper in my purse, but no giant diaper bag or baby paraphernalia. The employees couldn’t believe it. This one guy, who was in his early 20s, was all, “That’s so cool. You’re just rockin’ it with your baby and no stroller or baby bags or anything.” They all thought it was so novel. 😛

    In the grand scheme of things, the employees were really quite close in age to me. I’m fairly sure that none were younger than 20, so we didn’t have 10 years between us. They grew up around infant buckets, though, and I didn’t because they weren’t popular when I was little. It was funny to me and my husband as we watched them process that we were just carrying a baby.

    I understand the appeal of being able to strap your baby into the carseat, unhook them at the mall and place them in the stroller, shop, and then wheel them back to the car where they plug right back in. Sometimes life works out where you just need your hands/body free or you can’t carry your baby for some other reason, but why not carry our babies when we can? How many times have you seen a baby crying and the mother frantically pushing the stroller back and forth? (Actually, I think I WAS that mother at least once when my oldest was a baby…) Our babies’ brains are AMAZING, and they are hard wired to want to be picked up. As Dr. Sarah J. Buckley says in her book, part of why babies developed the desire to be held was so they could ensure that they were safe and not attacked by a predator… throughout time, babies have needed someone to hold them!

    And, honestly, how else are you going to get to smell all of that yummy baby smell? MMmmmm! Mommas are made to want to carry babies too 😉 Our society has redefined the norm, but that doesn’t change how we are made.

  • Time Spent Together

    The National Family Institute reported that the average American child spends 12.5 minutes each day communicating with her parents. Of that time, 8.5 minutes are spent on corrections, criticisms, or arguments. A University of Iowa study revealed that on average, a child hears 432 negative comments daily, compared to 32 positive ones (Hochschild, 1997.)

    Isn’t that a scary number?

    Here’s another one:

    If you concentrate on playing with young children for at least five minutes a day, you may reduce power struggles by as much as fifty percent.

    Amen! I completely agree!

    I’ve been reading Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey for the past few weeks, and it has been wonderful. It has really been the perfect timing for me. As with almost all parenting books we read, Joe and I have been using the techniques primarily on ourselves, lol. It is humbling to see all of the ways that we can improve. What I really love about this book is the focus on your own thought patterns and how they impact your relationships with others.

    I hope to come back and discuss it more… Hopefully in the next week! I am insanely busy between the kids, midwifery school, finishing my doula certification, working on my herbalism class, and taking a few web design jobs. Hopefully it’ll slow down soon… I have a big assignment to turn in for my midwifery school and I expect to have a little more blogging time once it is submitted. 🙂 (Well, except then it’ll be time to work on the next big assignment, LOL!)

  • Sabbath

    (from http://www.sabbathmanifesto.org/)

    To me, there is something magical about the Sabbath. My religious history is a bit strange. I was raised with a mix of various flavors of Judaism along with pretty much the whole gamut of Protestantism (evangelical, mainline, charismatic…) I am thankful for the diversity that I was exposed to, and it has made for an interesting transition to finding the best fit for worship in my life.

    It seems like every few years I go through a new (deeper) frustration with the evangelical church in America. There is a series on Internet Monk right now that almost perfectly sums up our issues. I am lucky to have an amazing husband who has dealt with the same frustrations. Why does the mainstream evangelical church in America look and feel so WRONG? Why are they (and I can’t even say “we”, because I can’t self-identify with them at this point) living, as the post on Internet Monk says, “of the world, but not in it.”

    We know that we want to be DOING more of what Jesus taught, rather than just sitting in an auditorium and participating in a liturgy-that-pretends-to-not-be-because-they’re-too-cool-for-that. The problem is in finding how to live that out in the midst of our insanely busy lives. We have no problem finding other believers who feel the same way that we do, but they’re all so busy too!

    One solution that has worked well for us (over the past 5 years or so) to reducing the “busyness” is to celebrate a more traditional Sabbath. The site above is nice because it has some bullet points to point you in the right direction if celebrating a Sabbath is new for you. Taking the intentional time to unplug, light some candles, make a special dinner, and enjoy it with those you love can make such a difference. Taking the following day to serve and seek spiritual nourishment is amazing. Those times have given us SO much more growth than any other spiritual practice.

    I am excited to see where God leads us next. Our journey as a family has been so rewarding, and my husband and I have discussed many times how humbling it is to look back. I cannot speak highly enough of the value of traditional spiritual disciplines, especially if looking at the American church makes you feel like crying.

  • Inner Separation Anxiety

    I subscribe to The Daily Groove, and I find that it often contains a little word of encouragement that is just what I need. Some of the wording is a little “out there”, but there is enough good stuff to keep me on the list.

    Today’s Daily Groove was all about “Inner Separation Anxiety”. This is the idea that we can be physically present, but not there emotionally/spiritually/mentally and that our kids can feel that something is not right. That feeling causes them anxiety similar to if you were physically absent and they were having traditional separation anxiety.

    This was a really good reminder for me. As we settle into our new routine with four kids, it can be challenging for me to be completely present during the day. My mind is often trying to sort through a million different things, even while I’m talking to or playing with my kids. One of my favorite quotes from GCM says that we cannot expect our children to be any more calm than we are. We set the tone for our house, and it is important to be mindful of that fact.

    As Scott said in the Daily Groove:

    Today, look for a correlation between your child’s state and your own. Is s/he more anxious when you feel off-center in some way? If so, let your child’s anxiety serve as a reminder to practice centering.

    That is advice that I will definitely be taking  🙂

  • The Laundry Monster

    Laundry. It is my nemesis.

    I am fairly good with everything else, but I just detest laundry. Actually, that isn’t true: I don’t mind washing a load, and I find something incredibly relaxing about hanging my laundry outside. I just hate folding and putting away!

    I read a post from a wise, fellow mama-of-many, and she said that she turned a corner when she accepted that 2 loads of laundry a day was just a necessity. I thought about this and rejected it for a few months, but I recently decided to accept it. Something amazing has happened: My laundry isn’t so bad.

    I’ve realized that I was trying to deny something that could not be denied. It was as if I wanted to pretend that gravity did not exist. It does not help to deny it, because the reality of it is still there whether you accept it or not. Just like with birth, life is so much easier and less painful if you accept it and just ride the waves. Fighting it only makes for frustration.

    And, on that note, it is time to put another load in…

  • Christ and Firing Squads

    Today I was reading this story:

    Condemned Utah Killer Will Face Firing Squad

    http://abcnews.go.com/US/TheLaw/wirestory?id=10455328&page=2

    I am not sure why I clicked on it… I am guessing that it has something to do with how bizarre it sounds to still have people facing firing squads. As I was reading the article, two things struck me that I wanted to flesh out somewhere.

    The article says

    …despite Utah’s strong religious roots — it’s the home of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — most here support the use of the death penalty.

    “I think in Utah, when it suits their purposes, they go back to the Old Testament and the ‘eye for an eye’ kind of thing,” Kalish said. “These people may be the worst of the worst, but if the best we can do is repeat the same thing, it’s so obviously wrong.”

    I am always amazed that the “religious right” is also associated with the death penalty. It just seems so ridiculous. Let me preface by saying that this is a difficult subject for me. I have friends who have had family members murdered, and part of me feels uncomfortable telling them what should happen to someone who destroyed their family. At the same time, I don’t see any way that you can justify it as the “Christian” thing to do. I don’t think that anyone should have a right to have someone else killed just because they did the same. As the quote above says, ‘if the best we can do is the same thing, it’s so obviously wrong.’

    As Shane Claiborne says in Jesus for President,

    Violence kills the image of God in us… Violence goes against everything we are created for — to love and be loved — so it inevitably ends in misery and suicide, either literal or metaphorical.

    When people succumb to violence, it infects them like a disease or poison that leads to their own death. Judas, the disciple who betrayed Jesus with a violent kiss, ended his life by hanging himself… Columbine, the 2006 Amish school shooting, the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the Virginia Tech massacre — each ended with suicide.

    …

    It’s in moments like these violent times that grace looks so magnificent. It’s in the shadow of violence that a victim’s grace to a muderer’s family shines so brightly, as in the aftermath of the Amish school shooting. It’s even more scandalous to think of killing someone who kills, for they, more than anyone in the world, need to hear that they are created for something better than that.

    The second thing that stood out to me in the article was the fact that the man who was killed was also a pacifist.

    “Michael would not be happy at all. Michael would have fought against the death penalty. That’s who he was,” said Temu, 62, a Salt Lake City-area funeral director who knew Burdell through their membership in the Summum church.

    A pacifist who was drafted into the U.S. Army, Burdell served in Vietnam but vowed to never use a weapon on another person, Temu said.

    To me, this makes it even more heartbreaking. The man who was killed would not have wanted his murderer’s life demanded in return. It is sad that the cycle of violence will continue on, and yet we know that redemptive violence is a myth. You cannot bring peace through violence. This act will ripple on as more are impacted through this execution.

    Part of me wants to say that I don’t know what the answer is, but I truly believe that we Christians can see the answer by looking to the Bible. Why is it that the church has politically aligned ourselves with an idea that is so far from the concept of grace?

  • Sustainable fish

    Tonight we had baked wrapped tilapia, quinoa, and sweet potatoes.  It was awesome. As I ate, I kept thinking about how I wish the public had more information on which fish are the safest and most sustainable to eat.

    As many of you know, I am a bit of a freak when it comes to toxins. Toxins are highly present in a lot of fish, because fish tend to have longer food chains. Long food chains mean that there are a lot of extra opportunities for the toxins to accumulate.  When a big fish eats a smaller fish, it gets the lifetime accumulated toxin load from that fish and every fish (or other item) that the smaller fish ate.

    Basically, that means that if you eat fish (or anything that had a mother), you want to eat lower on the food chain. Toxins are also lipophilic (attracted to fat), so fatty fish store more. This is why shrimp are less toxic than seals  😉 It is also why the native cultures who eat a lot of blubbery and fatty seafood that is also high on the food chain end up with the highest toxin body burdens in the world.

    (As a side note, here is a nasty story about trash recently found in a whale’s gut. It was a fairly low volume of trash compared to food, but still gross. It contained sweatpants, a golf ball, over 20 plastic bags, surgical gloves, and more goodies….)

    Anyways, so tilapia is one of the few kinds of fish that is considered to be “kid safe“.  That means that it is both low in toxins and sustainable. Tilapia eat mostly algae and aquatic plants, so they don’t have many opportunities to absorb toxins. The “kid safe” designation is really only true for tilapia from the US or other countries in the Americas. It is NOT true for Chinese tilapia (which is what most of the frozen stuff is.) Chinese fish farms have pollution and other environmental problems.

    We have obviously gone back and forth on whether or not we’ve eaten fish. If you aren’t abstaining for moral or philosophical reasons, then fish can be a great way to get essential fatty acids. It is especially important for women who are pregnant, may become pregnant, or breastfeeding to be aware of what they’re eating, because our children are the highest on the food chain as they are nourished from our body. See this article on mothering.com, SafeMilk.org, or the amazing book, Having Faith for more info on toxins in pregnancy and breastfeeding. 🙂 Happy eating!

  • The Functions of the Orgasms

    I am sure that just including the phrase “The Functions of the Orgasms” in my blog will get me all sorts of unwanted traffic. I apologize in advance if you find my blog when you were looking for something more exciting 😉 But, really, this book is so awesome that you should stay and read about it anyways, lol.

    The basic premise behind this book (which is written by the fabulous Michel Odent) is that we have ecstatic/orgasmic states throughout life, and three important times of them happening are when we have the sperm ejection reflex, the fetus ejection reflex and the milk ejection reflex. Basically, the same hormones are used when you make a baby, push a baby out, and feed a baby. The scary thing is that

    Due to the improved technique of medically assisted conceptions and cesareans, the advances in anesthesiology and pharmacology, and the development of the food industry, women can now conceive a baby, give birth, and feed their infant without relying on the release of ‘cocktails of love hormones.’

    It really is fascinating. The hormones that we release during these orgasmic states help us to bond and even create a state of dependency. Whether you believe in creation or evolution, our bodies have been designed somehow to release these hormones at those times.

    I have a couple of topics that I want to write from this book, but for now I’ll just highly suggest that you buy it. If you’d like to read it along with a group, the unassisted childbirth reading room is currently working their way through it. Come hang out with us! Note that I have never had an unassisted childbirth, but am still active in the group 😉

    Oh, and while I’m at it, I’ll give another plug for Sarah Buckley’s article on this topic as it relates to the hormones of birth:
    http://www.sarahjbuckley.com/articles/ecstatic-birth.htm

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