Hippiemommy

Category: Homekeeping

  • Dream houses and fantasies

    This is my new favorite book!  There are so many great sections, but I want to focus today on her chapter on the fantasy of housekeeping and “dream houses”.  There are all sorts of high-end gadgets that are marketed to people who don’t even clean their own households. People want to dream and fantasize about their perfect house, and yet the time that women spend on average cleaning has dropped by 50% since my Grandmother’s day. During that same time, no other members of the household have started spending more time on housekeeping. That’s not good.

    Clothes and toys lie strewn from one side of the house to the other, there seems to be nowhere to put anything, and we find ourselves wondering whether the whole family is likely to come down with typhoid if the bathroom is left uncleaned for yet another day or week or month.  And in the midst of it all, there too often sits someone who is reading a magazine or watching a TV show about the dream house rather than tidying up the house he or she is in.

    Our culture completely encourages this kind of fantasy life and house-porn over the real day to day, unglamorous (but worthwhile) act of keeping house.

    There has surely always been a gap between the way people keep their houses and the way they would like ideally to keep them. But many of us, I suspect, are demoralized by the task of keeping house in part because we know that our houses, no matter how well kept, will never look like the palaces in the dream house publications. And so we give up, preferring unattainable ideals to less than perfect realities.

    It is so easy to get caught in this trap. We moved about 6 months ago from a house that had become my “dream home” by the time we left. It had the floors I always wanted, the perfect layout, a great yard, and it was painted in my favorite colors. We moved to a great new home, but it has carpeting in the main living areas, a red wall in the living room, and a smaller kitchen. Our furniture was bought to fit in our old house, and doesn’t match properly in our new house. This house has some great new features, like we now live on an open space (a preserved nature area) and we have a full guest living area in the basement, but I found myself having such a hard time being motivated because I didn’t *love* it the way that I loved my old house. I made a few changes – first in my attitude, and then in the rooms, and it has become much easier to take care of the house. I am finally enjoying it again. I never realized how important my attitude was until we moved.

    The other thing that I’ve recently learned, and that this book reinforced, is that my goal as a stay at home mom is not to have a perfect house. My goal is to take care of everyone and help them to feel comfortable. This includes a clean house, but not one with the finest furnishings or artwork. It just needs to be clean and welcoming.

    I think we will realize that elaborate, spotless perfection is really not the point. The point is the continual re-creation of welcome and nurturance, not in some theoretical or disembodied sense but in simple, practical provision for the needs of the body: food, clothing, a place to sit, a place to sleep.

    Ironically, perhaps (given what is often called the materialism of modern society), these basic needs are too often met with neglect (no one makes any effort to provide clean clothes or meals) or resentment (whoever is providing the clean clothes and meals sees that work, and is encouraged by others to see it, as “drudgery”). The result is that those needs become something to indulge in fits of commercialized excess (“treating oneself” to a day at a spa or a weekend at a hotel, for example) rather than through happy daily routines of baths and meals and clean sheets.

    Yeah, why do we do that?!

    The rest of the book goes on to talk about the simple details of sheltering, clothing, feeding, and keeping a household. It is both simple and profound at the same time. It is not the kind of book that makes you feel like you need to start working yourself into a frenzy. It is a simple encouragement to bless your family and those outside of your family by making your house into a place that will nurture souls. I really recommend this book.

  • Doormat or Dominatrix

    I’m sure I’ll get some interesting google hits from that title 😉

    I have been searching the past few days for some really great housekeeping sites, and I am so frustrated by the ridiculous extremes that seem to prevail on the internet. It is infuriating!

    When you search for Christian homekeeping, you basically come across two extremes. First is the Fascinating Womanhood model. This is by far the bulk of what is out there. On these sites you’ll find all the information that you could ever need to become a doormat. You too can become a slave! You can nibble off your husband’s toenails each night as he walks in the door. You can let your entire family run over you while you make homemade brittle. Life is fabulous.

    The other sites that address homemaking basically say that because women are so free, we should never clean our house. We should force our kids to do it, or maybe have our husband clean all night long after he gets home from work. Sit back, relax, you are called to nothing more than enjoying yourself.

    Why aren’t there sites out there for women who respect themselves (and their families) and yet want to do a good job at their current work? I am a stay at home mom. I love eating food made from scratch. I love living in a clean house. Sometimes I don’t enjoy what it takes to get it there, but then again I had to do all sorts of stuff that I disliked when I worked in the “real world”. I wish there were more sites (and books) out there to encourage real moms who want to be their own person to also do a wonderful job at their current profession as a homemaker. I like my house to be clean when my dh comes in the door because that is what I like to see. It gives me peace, and I want him to be able to have the same peace. I don’t want him to feel like he needs to come home and do my job. I do it because we are to love others as ourselves. I do not do it to earn his love. I do not do it because I am his Girl Friday. I do it because it is my job and I would love the same from him if our roles were reversed.

    I doubt that I’ll be able to change the internet world, but I have decided that I want to do a little series on homemaking for women with spines. I hope you’ll stay tuned 🙂

  • Life goals

    As you can see in my VoluntarySimplicity post, I have recently been thinking a lot about what is important to me and what is just a waste of my time. I’ve really been convicted on the many ways that I misuse my time, and so I’m trying to correct it.

    I decided to download and play with Life Balance, which is actually really cool. You write out your goals and the steps to get there and then it makes a to-do list for you that takes into account when you can do things, where you are going to be, and what must be done before other tasks can be done. I’m having fun playing with it. I found that they even have a plan you can download for Flylady (too bad I don’t use her system)!

    As dh and I talked about it last night, we realized that our weaknesses in this area are actually very complimentary. Where I am weak, he is strong; Where he is weak, I am strong. So now we are working together to see what we can do to help each other out.

    All of this has helped me realize that I have a lot of small goals that I was doing absolutely nothing to accomplish. They are important to me, but it does not appear that way when you look at my schedule. I’m hoping to change this.

    If you have realized the same thing, especially if you are a couple of steps ahead of me in putting those goals into action, please comment! I’d love to hear what you’ve done.

  • Voluntary simplicity

    Contrary to some reports, simplicity is not about deprivation. Those practicing simplicity in North America typically are quite comfortable by global standards. They only thing they’ve given up is the unnecessary and unsatisfying excess that is common in America. In exchange, they receive the luxury of time, peace of mind, and happiness. – Marie Sherlock Living Simply With Children

    I’ve never been that simple of a girl. Actually, I’ve always been a bit more of a material girl. I’ve been feeling led to change this though. All of the sudden I am having living-off-the-grid dreams. Its crazy.

    I went to the library and checked out a few books on Voluntary Simplicity (I figured that it wouldn’t be very simple of me to purchase them!) I’m really enjoying what I’m learning.

    We’ve already had a few family meetings about things that we can do as a family to simplify our life. We’ve talked about the goals that are truly important to us and what we can do to trim down the parts of our life that aren’t advancing us towards those goals. Its amazing to see how much of my time has been wasted on things that do not further my goals AT ALL. There are things that I feel that God is guiding me to, and yet I was spending my time in areas that were completely unrelated.

    So dh has really jumped on board, and we are finally working on a project that not only furthers our goals, but also allows us more time together. Its really, really cool.

    For the kids, we are working on reducing television and increasing family game times. I don’t mean board games, although we’ve done that too, but I just mean getting down and playing with them in any way they want. Its been a great reminder of how much I want to spend time with my children and grow in relationship with them. I don’t have a goal for them to know every song that Dora sings P

    Anyways, I wanted to go ahead and add a blog category for Voluntary Simplicity. I’ll probably put in a couple of entries from the books that I’m reading because it has given me a lot to think about. I don’t think I’ll be throwing away my Treo or my SUV anytime soon, but the little changes are already making a huge difference.

  • Kids and Chores

    This is a topic that I’ve been thinking about quite a bit recently. We’ve never had any kind of formal chore charts for our kids, but they are always happy to help when it comes time to pick up the house. They help enthusiastically and with a generous heart. I have thought about making charts, but I wonder if that will take some of the enjoyment and the gift of it away.

    I found some lists online for what should be expected for each age, and my kids do pretty much everything on there. There are some things that don’t apply (like feeding pets – we don’t have any), but they are great about doing the items on there that apply to our family.

    So I guess I’m just wondering what you do with your families. If you have a chart system, when did you start?

  • Cleaning Naturally

    When I first started reading about all of the dangers of the harsh chemicals that I was using for cleaning, I was overwhelmed by all of the choices out there. It seemed like most of the recipes used all sorts of exotic ingredients, and I was afraid to invest in a bunch of supplies that would leave me with ineffective cleaners.

    I scoured the internet looking for new ways to clean, and here’s a collection of some of my very favorite recipes! Several of these were given to me by my friend, Kym, so if you’re reading this, thank you! I’ve altered each of them a little bit, either in the way that I use them or the way that I mix them, so I hope everyone will all be able to benefit from my trial and error!

    *You can find great spray bottles at the dollar store or at wholesalers like Sam’s Club.*

    Everyday All-Purpose Cleaner
    2 cups distilled or bottled water
    1/2 cup vinegar
    6-8 drops essential oil (tea tree, sweet orange, and lemon are all faves around here)

    Although most people don’t realize it, ordinary household vinegar (5% solution white vinegar) kills 99 percent of bacteria, 82 percent of mold, and 80 percent of germs (viruses). It is a great all-purpose cleaner!

    Combine all ingredients in large spray bottle. Gentle shake to blend before each use. If vinegar scent is too strong, try adding a few drops of chamomile, sweet orange, or lavender.

    Creamy Peppermint Soft Scrubber
    1 cup baking soda
    1/4 cup Borax laundry booster
    1 TBS Castille soap
    5-10 drops peppermint essential oil (use less if pregnant)
    *You can also use Peppermint scented castille soap instead*
    1/4 cup water

    Combine all ingredients in a glass jar. I used mason jars, but you could also recycle a mayo or similar jar. Fasten lid and shake very well. Pour onto surfaces to be cleaned (formica, tile, porcelain, granite, etc.) or onto washrag and watch grime and residue disappear with very little scrubbing effort! Rinse well with the hottest water you can stand – no need to polish fixtures afterwards. They will shine so nicely! If you notice it getting too thick after time, then you can add a little more water and shake it up again.

    Lavender Blossom Glass & Window Cleaner
    2 cups distilled or bottled water
    1/2 cup vinegar
    6-8 drops lavender essential oil

    This is very similar to the all-purpose cleaner. I use them both for the same tasks. Just shake it up and add other essential oils or more lavender if you find the smell too strong.

    Olive-Citrus Dusting Polish
    1 Tablespoon olive oil
    1?4 cup lemon juice or vinegar (lemon juice is much more fragrant, but they work equally well)
    2-4 drops tangerine or sweet orange essential oil

    Pour all ingredients into clean, recycled glass jar. Attach lid and gently swirl to blend ingredients. Dip soft cloth into mixture and polish to an old fashioned, healthy luster. I have also used this mixture by placing it in a spray bottle and spraying it onto the cloth or surface when its time to use it.

    I ran out of this cleaner recently and didn’t feel like making up a new batch (total laziness on my part), so I used some of the store-bought furniture spray instead. It was so gross! I can’t believe that I used to use it all the time! It put all sorts of nasty fumes into the air and made our floors all slippery (from where the residue had fallen). I will never ever go back now!

    Rosemary’s Residue-Removing Counter Cleanser
    (use a hot water rinse with this to get gunk off of counters, especially in the bathroom with hair spray!)
    1/2 cup distilled or bottled water
    1/2 cup castile soap
    4-6 drops rosemary essential oil (if you are pregnant, have high blood pressure, or epilepsy, use sweet orange or tangerine instead.

    Combine all ingredients in spray bottle, gently swirl to blend, and spray directly onto surface. Wipe with a soft cloth, then rinse well with hot tap water and enjoy the shine!

    I hope that these recipes that I’ve compiled will help you on the path to natural cleaning. If you have any questions or comments, please post them and I’ll check back soon!

  • Meal Planning for Dummies

    If there is one thing that I know, its food! I love food. I love cooking. I love eating. I don’t really like cleaning… that’s a different article though…

    My problem with meal times came when it was time for me to decide what to make. On the days where I would plan earlier in the day, I would inevitably realize that I didn’t have the proper ingredients, so I’d either go to the store and spend a bunch of extra money or else I’d just give up all together and convince my husband to eat out instead. It wasn’t until I made a meal plan that worked for our family that I was able to overcome this beast (and save a ton of money in the process).

    My meal planning has gone through several incarnations. Each has been wonderful for that phase of my life, but as our family grows, I find that our needs grow as well. I encourage you to try a few different plans, and if the first one doesn’t work, don’t be discouraged. You’ll find a good one!

    When my son was very young, I made a great system using the Mastercook software. I entered in all of my family favorites and divided them into 4 weeks worth of plans. Each week I would choose a plan, print out the grocery list (it makes one automatically) and I was done. It was easy, and after the initial setup, it took almost nothing to keep up with it.

    You could do the same thing without any special software: just write down your favorite meals and then write down the shopping list on another sheet of paper. If you have a notebook for all of your family business, just stick the pages into a sheet protector and you’re good to go! You can also do this on your Palm Pilot (Handyshopper is a great program for this) or in a program like Word.

    As my kids started to get to the toddler stage, I realized that cooking every night was getting to be more challenging. I just couldn’t get that much time alone. At this point I decided to start using freezer cooking (aka once-a-month-cooking or OAMC). I didn’t want to spend an entire day in the kitchen, so I doubled and tripled recipes instead. My very favorite was my ziti recipe, which I will post in the recipe section. It really wasn’t too much extra work to double or triple the recipes, and I was able to buy my ingredients in bulk, which was much cheaper. I would double/triple recipes for a week or two, then coast off of the food in our freezer for another few weeks, then cook again. It was a good way to buy a little extra time!

    Then, in 2004, we discovered that my son was severely allergic to casein, the protein in cow’s milk. I had to rethink all of our meals. Milk, cheese, and butter were staples of our meals, and most of the frozen meals were casserole-type dishes, and they just weren’t that good on our new, more restrictive diet.

    To work around this issue, I have gone back to a plan that I used when I was a working wife (before my kids were born). In this plan, I had a set “theme” for each day of the week, but I would sit down on Sunday (that’s my shopping day) and decide what exactly we will eat on those nights. Having the categories helps me to decide quickly.

    Our current schedule is as follows:
    Sunday – Bible Study (potluck dinner) or Italian (if there is no study)
    Monday – Breakfast for dinner
    Tuesday – Asian
    Wednesday – Soup and sandwiches
    Thursday – Mexican
    Friday – Pizza
    Saturday – Traditional / Family Favorite

    So far, this is working very well for us. I currently use the grocery game. In order to make it fit with my schedule, I check what is on sale with the grocery game, and then I try to incorporate the sale ingredients into my meals. Honestly, since you do so much “stockpiling” with the grocery game, there are very few items that I need to pick up each week for my meals. I “shop” in my pantry/fridge instead, using items that I have stockpiled.

    I am happy with our current system, but if our needs change again, then I’m sure that we will adapt to meet them. I still bulk cook a couple of meals each month. I like to have them around for busy days or if I am called from church to bring a meal to a fellow mom who has just given birth.

    Feel free to comment if you have any questions or suggestions. I’d love to hear what works for your family!

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