Doormat or Dominatrix

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I’m sure I’ll get some interesting google hits from that title 😉

I have been searching the past few days for some really great housekeeping sites, and I am so frustrated by the ridiculous extremes that seem to prevail on the internet. It is infuriating!

When you search for Christian homekeeping, you basically come across two extremes. First is the Fascinating Womanhood model. This is by far the bulk of what is out there. On these sites you’ll find all the information that you could ever need to become a doormat. You too can become a slave! You can nibble off your husband’s toenails each night as he walks in the door. You can let your entire family run over you while you make homemade brittle. Life is fabulous.

The other sites that address homemaking basically say that because women are so free, we should never clean our house. We should force our kids to do it, or maybe have our husband clean all night long after he gets home from work. Sit back, relax, you are called to nothing more than enjoying yourself.

Why aren’t there sites out there for women who respect themselves (and their families) and yet want to do a good job at their current work? I am a stay at home mom. I love eating food made from scratch. I love living in a clean house. Sometimes I don’t enjoy what it takes to get it there, but then again I had to do all sorts of stuff that I disliked when I worked in the “real world”. I wish there were more sites (and books) out there to encourage real moms who want to be their own person to also do a wonderful job at their current profession as a homemaker. I like my house to be clean when my dh comes in the door because that is what I like to see. It gives me peace, and I want him to be able to have the same peace. I don’t want him to feel like he needs to come home and do my job. I do it because we are to love others as ourselves. I do not do it to earn his love. I do not do it because I am his Girl Friday. I do it because it is my job and I would love the same from him if our roles were reversed.

I doubt that I’ll be able to change the internet world, but I have decided that I want to do a little series on homemaking for women with spines. I hope you’ll stay tuned 🙂

Comments

7 responses to “Doormat or Dominatrix”

March 31, 2007

mama

Exactly! i will stay tuned for the series. Have you read my article on my website about being a good christian woman? I noticed too how especially on the net there is this trend or whatever that if you make your own yougourt and bake your own bread etc then you are a good christian woman.
http://me-mama.blogspot.com/

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March 31, 2007

Kristin

Interesting thoughts that I’m currently mulling over in my head. Maybe I’ll have to blog my thoughts out on this.

I would like to be a good homemaker, without trading in my backbone, personality or opinions. I would like to think I’m succeeding.

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April 1, 2007

Linda

Have you not seen or tried FLYlady? Or the book upon which her system is based, Sidetracked Home Executives? Both start from the premise that you keep your home and life organized from a sense of self-love and respect. FLY stands for “Finally Loving Yourself,” after all (not loving your husband or your children or anyone else–although everyone benefits!)

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April 1, 2007

amanda

Oh yeah, I should’ve mentioned Flylady! Flylady is really cool 🙂 My only problem with her is that she is for messies (and so is the SHE book). When I first became a SAHM, I actually bought the SHE book based on a recommendation I saw online, and then I opened it up and looked at the “quiz” and it told me to shut the book because I wasn’t a messie, LOL! I was so bummed. (I still read it. I don’t listen when books tell me to stop reading.)

I guess maybe I wanted something more on homekeeping rather than just tidying up. Does that make sense? LOL. I feel like my pregnant brain is overtaking my reason.

Basically I meant to say that I don’t necessarily want a system for cleaning, but rather ideas from other people on making my home more home-y.

There is another site out there that I’ve heard highly recommended – Motivated Moms. They only change their sheets every other week though, and that skeeves me out, lol.

I think that both MM and Flylady are wonderful alternatives to the doormat sites. Although they serve slightly different purposes.

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April 1, 2007

Linda

But have you ever tried FLYlady? It’s about so much more than just “tidying up!” It hits on all aspects of life, really, because disorder and chaos affect everything we do. FLYlady even recently put out a book on body issues, called Body Clutter. I’m a BO (born organized person) and I have been helped a lot by FLYlady and the SHE book.

Another book that comes to mind is Shelter for the Spirit by Victoria Moran. It’s not specifically Christian, if that matters. But it does focus on more of the touchy-feely-how-to-make-a-house-a-home topics than just cleaning.

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April 10, 2007

Jenn

Once again I find myself nodding along to your post!! I feel the same way. I love being a homemaker BUT I think that my hubby should pitch in. I love cooking, making a nice home, and feel these things are important, BUT I don’t want them to solely define me. It’s a hard balance. I’m trying to walk that line – being a homemaker, but NOT a scullery maid! Looking forward to your coming posts!!

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April 13, 2007

Mary

I can totally relate! I am not relaly a messie either (although I feel like one today. LOL. ) Have you looked at organizedhome.com? I like their message board. It seems pretty balanced to me so far.

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