“My body is not a lemon.”

As I mentioned a few entries ago, hearing the heartbeat has made me much more focused.  Today I decided to resume my reading of Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth.  I got to the part where she talks about the fact that many women have excessive bleeding when they deliver the placenta, and my whole body tensed up.  I was pretty impressed that I noticed it, but freaked out that it not only scared me but also created a physical response.  Just a few paragraphs later I saw this

Remember this, for it is as true as true gets: Your body is not a lemon.  You are not a machine.  The Creator is not a careless mechanic.  Human female bodies have the same potential to give birth well as aardvarks, lions, rhinoceri, elephants, moose, and water buffalo.  Even if it has not been your habit throughout your life so far, I recommend that you learn to think positively about your body.

This is the core of it.  I am afraid that my body doesn’t work as well as it is supposed to.  Things have happened, and even if many were the result of interventions and modern science, it still rattles me a bit.  I said from the beginning that my biggest challenge would be in trusting my body and relaxing during the birth.  If I can relax and trust in peace, then I know I will be fine.  I’m just not exactly sure how to get there.

On a related note, I have recently realized how much I hold my stress in my body.  My yoga teacher commented last week that my shoulders were super tense.  I’ve been having a lot of migraines, and they always “sit” in my shoulders.  I am working so hard on relaxing my body, but its tricky.  Who knew that controlling your own body could be so challenging?