Rules for driving in California

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. We were sucked out of our life in Colorado and dropped off in Northern California. Since being here, I’ve learned:

1. Drivers in the Bay Area put one hand in the 10:00 position on the wheel and the other hand firmly on the horn.
2. Horns should be used for all occasions: Honk when someone goes slower than you’d like; Honk when someone goes faster than you’d like; Honk at pedestrians in a parking lot as you’re driving past (so as to warn them that you are willing to plow them down rather than slow down and wait for them to cross)
3. If in doubt, be aggressive.
4. Never yield; Yielding shows weakness. See #3.
5. If a light is not operating correctly, floor it and lay on the horn.
6. If you need to get on the freeway, expect the entrance to be on the side opposite of what logic would tell you.
7. Intersections should include at least 5 different roads.

It probably doesn’t help that our rental van has Alabama license plates (complete with the “Sweet Home” tagline on the top.) I think that makes us look like easy victims.

Luckily, my husband (who, in our former life, once considered honking our horn, but didn’t press hard enough on the wheel because he was concerned about the loud noise), has taken to California driving like a pro. He is cutting people off like the best of them. I think we’ll be OK.